Confessions
by elfmaiden4legs
Summary: A strange virus sweeps through the camp. Locke was the first to succumb to the disease, closely followed by Charlie, and now Sawyer is also sick. Jack is doing everything he can, but even he is struggling to keep up with the rate of infection, and things are going to get a whole lot worse before they get any better. What will he do with three sick, and another in critical condition
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

"Shannon what do you think you're doing?" Sayid shouted as the small group, consisting of Jack, Kate and himself, ran through the forest and came across her and Locke in a clearing… Shannon – a gun raised purposefully to Locke's head. "Do you honestly think Boone would want this?"

"He killed my brother!"

"No Shannon, there was nothing anybody could have done, in the end Boone wanted to die, he asked me to let him die!" Jack tried to explain. "He was in so much pain Shannon…"

"He would never have been forced to make that choice had he not done what he did to him!"

"And what did he do Shannon? Tell me? How can you condemn a man to death without even hearing his side of the story?" Kate asked.

"He killed my brother!"

"No!" Locke cried.

"You killed my brother!"

"No…"

But whatever Locke was going to say, the words suddenly seemed to catch in his throat as his legs buckled and he had to fight to prevent them from giving way beneath him.

"No!" He implored her.

"Yes!"

"Locke…" Jack fixed the man with a questioning gaze.

"Help me Jack!"

The expression upon Locke's face appeared desperate.

"You will pay for what you did to my brother!"

"No Shannon, come on, put the gun down, drop it, you don't really want to do this." Jack turned to her.

"Yes… I do."

"You're not a murderer Shannon…"

"It doesn't matter anymore." Locke seemed so sad when he next spoke, so unreachable.

"Shannon listen to me, Locke didn't kill your brother! I've seen many murderers in my time, and I'm telling you Locke is no murderer. What happened to your brother, it was just an accident. A tragic, unfortunate accident." Sayid tried reasoning with her.

"Liar! He's nothing but a liar. He killed my brother and now he expects me to forgive him and forget anything ever happened."

"Believe me Shannon, there's nothing there to forgive…"

"No! And now he will pay…"

"No!" Sayid ran at Shannon as the gun went off. Locke fell to the floor as the bullet grazed his forehead but it didn't penetrate his skull. Shannon ran, Kate was immediately after her and Sayid followed with all the speed he could muster, leaving Jack alone with Locke in the clearing. Jack was by Locke's side in an instant.

"Jack…" Locke groaned as he began to come round.

"You're ok." Jack tried to reassure him.

"Jack my back… it hurts." Locke tried to get up but collapsed again almost immediately. He withered with pain as Jack leant over him.

"You'll be alright, it's probably just the shock."

"No Jack, I can't walk…" A desperate wave of helpless panic overwhelmed him.

"Calm down."

"No Jack… you don't understand."

"Understand what?" Jack asked.

"I've been through it all before." Jack's questioning gaze only seemed to add to Locke's distress.

"Before the crash… I was a paraplegic… That's why I couldn't save Boone… my legs gave way and I couldn't get to him, I really tried… It's this island, it gave me my legs back… but now it's taking them away from me again, and I don't know why."

"Slow down Locke you're not making any sense."

"I'm not crazy, I know what I'm talking about!" Locke exclaimed.

"OK Locke, it's ok, I never said you were. I believe you, now just calm down so I can take a look at you."

At that moment Jack heard a rustling in the jungle behind and looked up to see that Kate had returned.

"Did you find her?" He asked.

"No." Kate replied. "She just took off. Maybe she just needs more time."

Jack nodded.

"Do you think you could help me with John?" He asked her.

Kate nodded.

"Sure." She smiled.

Locke lay still for a while quivering in pain whilst Jack took time to examine him. When everything seemed to become too much for him he took to whimpering like a wounded animal and Kate sat down beside him, laying his head in her lap like she might with a sick child. Neither she nor Jack had ever seen Locke so ill-composed before. It was unnerving.

She did her best to clean his head wound, but Locke continually fidgeted in her arms making it very difficult to do it effectively.

Jack removed a small torch from his pocket.

"John I need you to lie very still for me now ok. Try and go with the pain, don't fight against it. Just remember that pain is good alright… at least it means you can feel something".

Locke winced as he nodded.

Jack gently lifted one of Locke's tightly closed eyelids and shone his torch; he then did the same with the other one. Locke's pupils were dilated showing that he was still in shock and that he was obviously in a lot of pain.

Jack tried to talk to Locke as little as possible as it was clear that speech only distressed him and that he preferred silence. He gently rolled up one of the man's trouser legs, and then the other, in the hope of testing for a nerve response. It was then that he saw the large bloody bandage wrapped around Locke's right shin. Gently, he unwrapped it, to reveal the large gash in Locke's leg about 3 inches long.

It was very deep.

"When did this happen?" He asked him.

"A couple of days ago." Locke replied.

"How?"

"We were trying to bust open the hatch… piece of shrapnel pierced my leg."

"Who were? What hatch?" Jack frowned.

Locke hesitated before replying.

"Me and Boone! The hatch we found in the jungle whilst looking for Claire." He explained.

Jack looked at Kate.

"This will need tending to." He whispered. "It's infected, and to tell the truth it's a wonder that he's not got a fever. It looks like he's been trying to treat it himself, but it's far too deep I'm afraid. He needs antibiotics."

"I'll go back to the caves and see if I can't bring something back to help with Locke's pain." Kate said, and Jack nodded.

Kate gently maneuverered Locke's head from her lap and onto the forest floor, using a large pile of leaves and dead foliage to cushion him. "I'll be back as soon as I can." She explained.

Locke took a few deep breaths in an attempt to try stop himself fighting against the pain whilst Jack's fingers fumbled with his wrist, trying to locate a pulse… he found it… slow and shallow but it was going at a steady pace.

"So what's the diagnosis Jack?" Locke shuddered.

"Well I think you should have told me about your condition earlier… I could have helped you…" Jack sighed. "At the very least I would have liked to have known. You could have done yourself some significant permanent damage."

"And what could you have really done for me Jack?" Locke asked. "Even if you'd have known? The doc's at the hospital couldn't do anything when it first happened, so what chance do you think have out here, miles from nowhere, with no medical supplies, no equipment…"

"We could have kept an eye on you, nobody else need ever have known, it didn't have to come to this…"

"Owww!" Locke suddenly doubled over again.

"You have more pain? Where?" Jack asked.

"My stomach…" Locke whimpered.

Jack couldn't hide his confusion when he heard this. Locke's spinal injuries shouldn't have been effecting his stomach. He gently lifted up Locke's t-shirt and pressed down on his abdomen.

Locke cried out.

"Sorry John." Jack sighed.

"What's happening to me?" Locke cried.

"I don't know John." Jack confessed. "I have a feeling that your back pain is due to the infection in your leg. You're nerves are inflamed. The inflammation is spreading to your spine and that's why you're in pain… But I can't explain the stomach pain."

Locke lay where he was in silence for a while, until the pain seemed to subside and he tried to sit up.

"Oh no you don't." Jack said. "Just lay there for a bit longer." He gently laid a hand upon his shoulders and eased him back down again.

They both sat for a while in silence, Locke seemed slightly more relaxed and after a while of no talking between them Jack thought he might have fallen asleep.

"How do you feel now?" He asked.

"A little tired…" To his surprise Locke responded.

"Any dizziness?"

"A little." He confessed.

"You're almost certainly dehydrated." Jack reasoned. "As soon as Kate gets back I want to see you drink something, no matter how bad you feel."

Locke nodded.

They waited a further hour before Kate finally returned. She brought with her water, blanket's, aspirin and anti-biotics for Locke, as well as something to dress his wound with.

"Here take these now." Jack said handing Locke two lots of pills. Kate helped Locke drink from the bottle she had brought with her whilst Jack set about dressing his leg.

"Watch it!" Locke hissed and cried out as Jack began re-bandaging his leg.

"Can you feel that then?" He asked.

"… Yes… yes I can…" Locke replied.

"How about walking? Ready for a try?" Jack asked when he'd finished.

"Might as well." Locke nodded. "But you may need to help me."

Kate helped Locke to sit up, and then Jack wrapped his arms around Locke's waist, taking care not to put too much pressure on his stomach. Locke threw one arm over Jacks shoulders. They took a few cautious steps together, and although Locke stumbled and was still obviously weak he managed to walk with very little aid.

"Well done John!" Jack smiled. "Come on, let's get you back to camp. Kate could you pass me that blanket please?"

Despite the fact that it took them all evening to reach the caves and they had to make many stops along the way so that Locke could rest and Jack could tend to his leg, they finally made it back to camp in the early hours of the morning.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

Charlie was the only one still awake when they arrived. He himself looked pale and as though he had had a rough night. But something told Jack it was no-where near as rough as Locke's.

"Hey what's up with John?" Charlie asked Kate as Jack helped Locke settle in one of the nearby caves.

"He was taken very ill yesterday afternoon." She explained. "It's taken us all the night to get him back here."

"Will he be alright?"

"Hey, he's got Jack taking care of him." She smiled. "You of all people should know he's in the best possible hands."

"Hey?" Charlie frowned.

"Flu."

"Oh… yeah… right… yeah yeah…" He faltered, "the best possible hands."

"You OK Charlie?"

"Yeah sure, never better." The young man nodded.

Kate pulled Charlie's face towards her and it was only then that she noticed how pale he was.

"Charlie?"

"I'm fine!" He snapped.

"No… you're not… look, go and get some rest will you? You look like you've been up half the night. Jack's busy with John right now, so if you promise you'll let Jack know at the first moment he's free we won't say any more about it. Otherwise I'm going to get him to take a look at you."

Charlie didn't reply. In all honesty he hadn't slept a wink. He had sat up all night waiting for Jack to return. He felt so sick, and there was a part of him that wanted to refuse Kate's offer – force her to be the one to get Jack to take a look at him – but that wasn't fair on John. He'd seemed so tired and had looked so pale when they'd brought him back – his need was evidently greater than his.

"OK." He finally agreed.

"OK what?" Kate pressed him.

"I'll go get some sleep."

"Is that it?" She asked.

"And I'll speak to Jack at his next free moment."

"You promise?"

"Yes… I promise."

"Alright. I'll say no more about it." Kate smiled.

Charlie stumbled off in the direction of his bed. Kate returned to check on him about an hour later but he was still awake, and she had told him that Jack wouldn't be much longer now – Locke was finally resting. Before Kate could get Jack to take a look at him however Charlie had finally fallen asleep. His sleep was disturbed and he woke up briefly several times, once to find Jack leaning over him – but he didn't say anything and drifted back into sleep.

A few hours later he awoke again – this time doubled over in silent pain. He suppressed a cry and shed tears of pain and frustration instead, he tried to get up but found that he couldn't so he dragged himself into a sitting position and sat, rocking back and forth instead. He didn't know for how long. The next thing he would remember later was Kate approaching him.

"How do you feel?" She asked him gently.

He couldn't answer. Her voice seemed so distant – such a long way off – and he was in too much pain.

"Charlie, what's wrong?"

She was scared. The young man appeared totally unable to respond to her, he was rocking and shaking. She reached for his arm and as she touched him he seemed to have been shocked back into reality with a sudden jolt of pain.

"Don't touch me… please don't touch me…OWW!" Her touch, his speaking, everything seemed to hit him like a blow to his stomach and he doubled over in pain, almost unable to breath.

"Right… I'm getting Jack!" She said, and was gone…

"Charlie?" Jack approached him with caution, a few moments later. "Kate…"

"Help me Jack!" Charlie pleaded.

"Help you? Are you in pain Charlie?" Jack asked him.

All Charlie could do was nod.

"Where?" Jack asked leaning closer, but Charlie seemed unable to reply. "Tell you what you just squeeze my hand if I'm right." Charlie nodded and weakly took Jack's hand when it was offered.

"Your stomach?"

Charlie gave Jack's hand a very hard squeeze.

"OK Charlie. Do you mind if I examine you?" Jack asked him gently.

Charlie shook his head – he didn't care, he just wanted something to take the pain away.

"OK Charlie, just try to relax." Jack said soothingly as he lifted up Charlie's t-shirt and pressed down on his stomach. Charlie began to whimper with pain but let Jack continue. Jack took out his flash light for the second time in that evening and shone it in Charlie's eyes, gently holding his eyelids open with his thumb. Like Locke's his pupils were dilated. Finally he pressed his fingers to Charlie's wrist, his skin was very cold and his pulse was also slow but unlike Locke's it was irregular. Jack became worried.

"Do you have pain anywhere else? Your chest?"

"Just a bit…" Charlie managed.

"Kate!" Jack turned to her urgently. "Can you help me get Charlie into the caves please?"

"Why? What's wrong?" She asked – clearly concerned.

"I think I know what's wrong with both Charlie and Locke."

"What?"

"They have some kind of virus." Jack concluded.

"A virus? Well what sort of a virus could do this to a person?"

"Any virus can be pretty aggressive for someone who has a weak immune system." Jack explained.

"A week immune system?" She frowned.

"Locke has an infection doesn't he?"

"Well yes… but what about Charlie?"

"You can't tell anyone about this…" Jack whispered, looking around to make sure that no-one was listening – but at this time in the morning everyone else was asleep. "Charlie's going through withdrawal." He told her.

"Withdrawal?"

"He's a recovering heroin addict."

"What? Poor Charlie."

"Look don't tell anyone I told you that OK?" He implored her.

Kate nodded. She helped Jack lift Charlie. Together they carefully supported his small frame and maneuverered him into the cave where Locke was now sleeping. Jack supported Charlie whilst Kate made him up a bed on the floor. Charlie didn't say a word. He was happy to allow Jack to take over – relieved that he didn't have to go through this on his own anymore.

Just as Jack had helped him when he'd been going through withdrawal he was helping him again now.

When Kate had finished making the bed Jack lifted Charlie into it. There were plenty of blanket's to keep him warm and cushions Jack had collected from the plane. Jack wanted to see Charlie drink something but all the young man really wanted to do was sleep.

"I'll leave him now." Jack told Kate. "We need to warn the other's about this. I don't think its life threatening but we don't want an epidemic on our hands."

Instead of calling the whole group together Jack and Kate decided to target certain individuals. Jack stayed at the caves to keep an eye on Charlie and Locke whilst Kate hit the beach.

At about 10 o'clock Jack looked in on his two patients. Charlie was still sleeping quite soundly but Locke was awake and trying to get out of bed when Jack walked in on him.

"Hey, Locke what are you doing?" Jack asked, gently pushing him back down onto the bed.

"I need to know Jack."

"And what if you had fallen when I wasn't here? You could injure yourself further. Your leg's still in a bad way… but I think you'll be glad to hear that I think I know why you're in so much pain."

"Yeah?" Locke looked at him.

"You have a virus."

"A virus?"

"Yeah, Charlie has it as well. It's pretty nasty I think, but it's nothing life threatening. It seems to have targeted you both worse though because you have a weaker immune system."

Locke didn't reply. He looked exhausted.

"Here, drink some of this." Locke took a couple of sips from the bottle Jack handed him. "Now try and get some more sleep. I'll be back soon… If Charlie wakes up just tell him I'm outside. If he doesn't wake up soon I may just have to wake him, I need to see him drink something."

As Jack left the caves Locke tried to settle.


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3**

Jack noticed Kate come up from beach.

"How are they?" He asked.

"Everyone seems fine…" She told him, "except Sawyer."

"Sawyer? Why? What's wrong with _him_?" Jack asked.

"Well it sounds like this virus." Kate replied.

' _Oh God that's all I need!'_ Jack thought to himself. "How do you know?"

The night before Rose had woken to see Sawyer lying a little further up the beach. She had thought he was asleep at first but then he had started to shake. As she'd approached him she had seen that he was crying.

"You OK?" She had asked him.

Sawyer hadn't replied. But she had been shocked by just how pale he had been. Rose had decided to sit with him for a while to see if she could get him to open up to her and tell her what was wrong. After a while without a word passing between them Rose had maneuverered Sawyer's head into her lap. He hadn't protested.

"Well that's not like Sawyer." Jack said as Kate related the tale to him.

"Yeah I know." She nodded.

"It hurts…" Sawyer had cried out after a while.

"What hurts dear?" Rose had asked him, but Sawyer had only responded with, "It hurts…"

After that silence had elapsed between them for what felt to be a very long time. Then Michael had turned up. He had seen what was going on and had wanted to know if he could do anything to help.

"Go away." Sawyer had screamed, "Why won't everybody leave me alone?"

"Shhhhhh…" Rose had tried to calm him.

"I'm ok!" He'd told her. "Just stop fussing will you!"

He'd pulled himself up, still doubled over, and had made his way towards his normal spot under the palm trees. He was still there when the others had woken up the next morning, doubled over in silent pain.

"I tried to speak to him myself when I was down there but he just ignored me." Kate explained. "He's obviously in pain though."

"Well I suppose I'd better go and see what I can do." Jack sighed. "I doubt he'll let me anywhere near him though."

"Well he does seem in quite a bad way." Kate replied as Jack headed off in the direction of the beach.

Jack found Sawyer dozing where Kate had left him. He gently shook him awake.

"Hey doc." Sawyer said, smiling mockingly, as he opened his eyes and saw Jack leaning over him. His speech was slurred and he was pale and sweating. "What brings you into this neck of the woods?" He asked.

"Kate said that you haven't been feeling too good."

"And what do you care?" Sawyer asked, although there was no longer hint of his usual hostility towards Jack.

"People are worried about you." Jack said.

"No they're not." Sawyer responded. "They all hate me, and so do you."

"I'm trying to help you Sawyer."

"Oh you're gonna look after me are you?" He drawled.

"Yes I am." Jack said, resolutely.

Sawyer didn't respond. He was uncharacteristically dejected and deep down he didn't really want an argument with Jack. He wanted the pain gone, and he knew that Jack was his best chance of that.

"Will you let me examine you?" Jack asked.

Sawyer just nodded.

'' _Thank God!'_ Jack thought to himself. He hadn't expected Sawyer to be in quite this state. Locke and Charlie were both very sick, but Sawyer seemed even worse. Sitting here he actually felt sorry for him, although he would never say anything. That might be too much for Sawyer to handle.

"Kate said that you appeared to be in some pain last night. You kept saying to Rose 'It hurts'…" He asked him.

"I don't remember…" Sawyer shook his head.

"You in any pain now?"

Sawyer curled himself inwards, holding his legs tighter to his torso, and despite the fact that he tried to conceal it Jack recognised when he started to cry by the upheavals of his chest and shoulders.

"I'll take that as a yes." Jack said when he failed to respond. "Can you tell me where?"

But Sawyer seemed unable to talk…

"Is it in your stomach?" Jack asked. Sawyer nodded.

"Right…" said Jack, switching into full medical mode now that he was pretty sure that he knew what it was. "Sawyer I want you to lie on your back for me as flat as you can alright?" He helped Sawyer to lie down. He lifted Sawyers t-shirt and made to press on his stomach but had barely applied any pressure at all before Sawyer cried out in pain and tried to curl up.

"It's ok Sawyer, I'm not going to do that again." Jack reassured him, trying to appear comforting but not sure how successfully he was able to pull this off. "I'm sorry."

Jack removed his torch from his pocket and flicked it on. He gently lifted the lid to one of Sawyer's eyes and shone the torch; he did the same with the other. Just as with Locke and Charlie Sawyer's pupils were dilated. He flicked his torch off and put it back in his pocket, before taking Sawyer's wrist to check his pulse. Unlike Charlie's it was warm and clammy to the touch. Sawyer's pulse was slow and slightly irregular, which worried Jack slightly. He thought that Sawyer and Charlie must have a more severe form of the virus than Locke – who was already looking a little better this morning.

"I think I know what's wrong with you." Jack told him. "What I don't know is how long it will take to clear."

"Yeah and…" Sawyer asked.

"There's a virus going through the camp. Locke has it and Charlie has it, your symptoms fit theirs. Will you do something for me?"

"What?"

"Come back to the caves with me."

"No way doc!"

"Look Sawyer I can't help you unless you co-operate with me." Jack implored him.

"Well, maybe I don't want your help…"

"Look I haven't got time for this. I have to get back to the caves. I may not like you and you may not like me but I'll make a deal with you. You can stay here one more night. If you feel better by tomorrow then fine but if not will you come to the caves with me tomorrow morning?"

Sawyer just sat looking at him. He knew he'd been beaten. He nodded his head.

"Right, I'll see you tomorrow then." Jack said as he rose from the sand. Sawyer just sat there as he walked away, no sarcastic remarks, nothing.

"How is he?" Kate asked when Jack got back.

"Well he's been better." Jack told her. "But he wouldn't come back to the caves with me."

"Typical Sawyer." Kate sighed, folding her arms crossly.

"Well it's up to him." Jack shrugged. "I doubt I could do any more for him up here anyway. I mean it's not like we're overwhelmed with medical supplies is it? Anyway he's agreed that if he feels no better by tomorrow he'll let me bring him back with me… "

"Is it this virus thing?"

"Yeah I think so. His symptoms seem match Locke and Charlie."

"Is it bad?"

"I don't know, it might be. He's symptoms appear worse than both Charlie's and Locke's, but he's defiant and that can only be a good sign." Jack sighed.

Suddenly there was a cry from within the cave where Charlie and Locke had been sleeping.

"I'll go…" Jack said.

"Are you sure… I mean you're sure you don't need any help?" Kate asked him.

"No, it's ok, I'll be fine… you just go and get some rest, you look done in. I have enough on my plate without you keeling over on me." He smiled.

Kate didn't return the gesture however, she looked disheartened. She wished that Jack would start to see her for more than what she was, what she had once been, and this remark only made her feel even more redundant.

"Look, I didn't mean it like that." He said. "You're tired, we all are, but I'm worried about you."

"Yeah well I'm fine." Kate snapped back, defensively.

"No Kate you're not… none of us are. We're stuck on a desert island with little or possibly even no chance of rescue, with polar bears and monsters and God knows what else. No-one has any privacy here, I've seen the way you look at that model plane of yours, it means a lot to you doesn't it? It hurts you to look at it and yet you're drawn to it every hour of every day. I'm sorry but I can't believe you are a killer Kate…"

"Yeah well maybe we are not all who we seem to be. You don't know me Jack, as far as you know Kate might not even be my real name, and I'm sick and tired of people talking as though they know me, when… how can anybody else claim to know who I am when I don't even know myself?"

"Kate…" Jack called after her as she began to back away, and make her way back down the trail they had just come… back towards the beach.

"I'm fine Jack. I'll be fine. I can take care of myself…" She spat.

"But Kate…"

A further cry from inside the cave distracted him from any further protests. He turned her back on her and sprinted for the caves, he never saw as Kate turned back, staring at him for a while, before disappearing off into the forest.


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4**

Jack was up at the crack of dawn the next morning to go down to the beach and check on Sawyer. It occurred to Jack that he hadn't asked Sawyer how long he had been feeling sick. He had been so wrapped up with his symptoms. How long had it been since the man last ate, or had had anything to drink?

He gathered some fruit together and filled a bottle with fresh drinking water, and made his way back to the beach. When he got there he saw Sawyer sitting where he had left him the day before and… Kate!

"Kate?" Jack asked as he approached. "How long have you been here?"

"Shhhhhhhh…" She said, putting a finger to her lips as she pointed pointed to a sleeping Sawyer. "Most of the night." She whispered. "I couldn't sleep."

"How is he?" He asked.

"Worse." Sighed Kate. "He's in a lot of pain."

"Did he say how long he's been feeling like this?" Jack asked.

Kate shook her head.

"Right… Sawyer… Sawyer?" Jack shook him gently. Sawyer awoke gradually, and groaned when he saw Jack.

"You again doc?" He slurred.

"How you feeling?"

"I'd feel a lot better for not seeing you!"

"Kate tells me the pain is getting worse?" Jack pressed him.

Sawyer flopped down on his back and nodded. He knew that Jack knew he was in pain so didn't see the point of trying to conceal it from one and only person who could help. Jack lifted up Sawyers t shirt and pressed down on his stomach. Sawyer grimaced but didn't cry out.

"When did you last eat anything?" Jack asked.

"A few days ago."

"Drink?"

"I dunno, about two days." Sawyer shrugged.

"How long have you been feeling like this Sawyer?"

"About three days."

"I've brought you some food and water." Jack told him.

"Hey doc, do I really look as though I've got any interest in eating anything at the moment?" He groaned.

"Well I need to at least see you drink something. You're probably dehydrated… Drink this." He said handing Sawyer the bottle. "You'll feel better."

Sawyer took the bottle but didn't drink from it.

"Come on." Kate said and took the bottle from Sawyer. She unscrewed the top and placed the wet nozzle to his lips. He sipped it, then took long desperate gulps as though he couldn't stop himself. His body had got a taste for the water now, and some instinct deep down inside of him was urging him to drink – drink hard and fast before the bottle was taken away again.

"That's it." Jack said, removing the bottle from his lips. "Not too much now. Can you walk?" He asked him.

"Dunno…" Sawyer shrugged.

"Will you try?"

"Why, where 'r we going?" Sawyer's speech was very slurred.

"The caves, we had a deal." Jack reminded him.

"Can't you just give it a rest doc?"

"No." Jack shook his head adamantly.

"Well, you can't carry me there kicking and screaming." He said.

"Personally I don't think you're in any fit state for that." Jack said, helping Sawyer to his feet. Sawyer didn't resist. He might have put on a front, but that was only to hide the fact that he was afraid. He might have hated Jack but Jack was the one now taking care of him. He'd never imagined this; he'd always thought that if he were sick Jack would simply leave him to get on with things – alone.

Together Jack and Kate supported Sawyer as they made their way back to the caves; they were practically having to support Sawyer's whole body weight between them. He walked, but barely, his feet going off in all directions like some poor drunkard who had got himself lost and didn't know the way back home. Sawyer's frustration was clear – eventually he gave up and let his legs hang limp, hoping that Jack and Kate could support him the rest of the way.

His lack of coordination was actually a result of hunger and severe dehydration – and Jack realised the importance of keeping a very close eye on him whilst they tried to rehydrate him slowly over the next few hours.

After the two of them had settled him in a cave a-joining his Jack turned his attention back to Kate.

"I'm sorry about what happened yesterday." He apologised.

"It's ok…"

"No… I never meant to upset you Kate."

"I know." She nodded.

"Are we ok now then?" He asked her.

"Yeah," Kate smiled – a light chuckle, "We're ok."

Jack grinned back.

"By the way I've been meaning to ask you… what was all that about yesterday?" She asked him.

"What?" He frowned.

"Who was crying?"

"Oh just Charlie… he had a nightmare." Jack explained.

"Oh…" Kate broke off and an awkward silence insured. "Well…" she was just about to resume the conversation when there was a loud crack from inside the jungle, and a man broke through the trees. He looked to be middle aged, and stopped suddenly when he saw them, trying to catch his breath.

"Hey dude, you ok?" Hurley – who'd been standing close by – asked.

"I need Jack…" He puffed.

"George isn't it?" Jack asked, approaching him. "What's up?"

"It's Faith?"

"Faith?"

"Yeah, Faith; nervous girl, environmentalist, had a rather nasty laceration to her leg when we first crashed here." He proceeded to explain.

"Yeah I know…" Jack responded impatiently. "But what's wrong?"

"I dunno."He shrugged.

"What do you mean?"

"Well she's had a bit of an accident."

George then began to explain how Faith had been helping to collect wood for the signal fires when she had come upon Jin and Michael arguing. She had tried to intervene but at that moment Michael had thrown quite a nasty punch in Jin's direction which had struck her in the left side of her jaw.

"Is she conscious?" Jack asked.

"In and out." George replied.

"Right I'm coming." He assured him, pausing to check the medical supplies in the backpack which he used to transfer medication and water from the caves to the beach. "Kate you stay here, I need someone to keep an eye on Sawyer whilst I'm gone."

Kate nodded. Jack then followed George back into the jungle – the two men following the path back towards the beach.

When they finally reached the clearing there was already a small group of people crowding around a young woman, who looked to be her early twenties. As they drew nearer they could hear a commotion, and further investigation showed that Faith had come round but she was evidently scared and disorientated. Sayid was holding her down, desperately trying to calm her.

"Get off me, leave me alone." She cried.

"Faith, listen to me…" He was saying to her.

"It's ok." Jack said taking control of the situation immediately. Sayid automatically backed off and allowed Jack to take his place. "Faith just calm down ok, you're going to be alright." He reassured her. "Remember me? Jack… the doctor?"

Faith nodded.

"Now try to calm down, breath for me… in and out, in and out…" He said, demonstrating to the young woman what is was he wanted her to do.

Faith followed Jack's lead and slowly she began to calm down.

"Good, that's very good Faith. How's your head?" He asked.

"It hurts."

Jack nodded. The main issue now was making sure that Faith remained calm, they had to keep her talking for as long as possible, until she became coherent. He needed time to access her head injury, and make sure that she wasn't suffering from concussion.

"How's your leg?" He asked.

Faith nodded. "Good… much better thanks… what happened?"

"You were knocked out," Jack explained, "not for very long I don't think but you need to stay calm. You're gonna have quite a nasty bruise I'm afraid. How do you feel now?"

"I dunno." She replied. "A little better I think. I'm cold though."

"That's probably the shock…" He told her. "Sayid, could you fetch me some blankets please?" He asked.

Sayid nodded, and headed off to get fetch blankets from the camp further up the beach.

"I'm tired." Faith told Jack.

"It may be concussion." Jack replied. "Its best you don't go to sleep just yet."

Sayid eventually returned with the blankets and Jack helped Faith to sit up before draping one of them over her shoulders.

"Thanks." She said.

"Don't mention it…" Jack smiled.

"JACK!" He then heard Kate cry, and she emerged through the trees. As Jack turned to look at her he observed the urgency upon her face.

"What is it?" He asked her.

"Locke's in some distress." She told him.

"Is he in any pain?" Jack pressed her.

"I don't know." She replied. "He won't say anything"

Jack gave Faith a questioning look then looked around at the other survivors around her. She would be alright, Sayid was there to look after her, and George, and she was a lot calmer now.

"Make sure she's kept warm and gets plenty of rest." He advised George. "She'll be fine…"

Then, before George had any time to reply, he set off with Kate – at a run – back towards the caves.


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER 5**

When they got there Locke – to Jack's surprise – was in tears, but even more surprising was who was there comforting him… Sawyer. Sawyer was incredibly pale but there was a look of genuine concern in his eyes.

"What happened?" Jack asked him.

"I dunno." Sawyer responded. "I just woke up and he was wailing like some wounded animal. He kept on saying ' _Why_ '?"

Jack looked around, suddenly realising that Charlie was gone. "Where's Charlie?" He asked.

"Claire took him" Sawyer explained. "She thought he would be more comfortable with her in her tent"

Suddenly Sawyer swayed, and Jack leaped to catch him before he fell.

"OK." Jack said. "Back to bed with you… Kate could you help him?" He asked her. "I want to talk to John."

"Sure." Kate replied. "Come on solider." She said, smiling as she supported Sawyer and together they made their way slowly back to the Southerner's sleeping quarters.

Jack just gave John a concerned but quizzical look, but Locke just glanced at him through pained eyes, a closed expression jupon his face, and Jack knew that he was not going to tell him anything.

"OK…" He said at last. "John you look exhausted, you need rest."

"Don't tell me what I need Jack…" Locke snapped.

Jack was silent for quite a long time. He didn't know how to respond to Locke's reaction… he didn't know how to comfort him.

Of all the survivors Locke was the last person Jack would have ever thought would find himself in need of comfort and reassurance – and never would he have thought that he would find himself in a position where he didn't know how to give it.

Jack was a doctor – a healer – and it was hard for him to sometimes have to admit that he didn't have all the answers – that he didn't always know how to help someone.

After a while he turned to face Locke, who was lying back down in his bed, staring off into space in deep contemplation – _no change there then_ – Jack thought.

"I never asked you how it happened?" He frowned.

"How what happened?" Locke asked.

"Was it an accident?"

"More like a crime…" Locke explained. "Some jerk in a car"

"Oh God… I'm sorry." Jack responded, sincerely.

"Sure…" Locke replied – his tone initially seemed bitter – but then his demeanour changed. He sat up slowly and turned to face Jack. "Don't be…" he smiled, "wasn't your fault, nothing you can do. I never did understand people who apologised for things that they couldn't change. Especially when it wasn't their fault."

"I wasn't apologising for me, I meant it for you." Jack explained.

"I know." Locke nodded. "But there's nothing to be done about it, so there's little point in feeling sorry about something which can't be changed. It either leads to one person feeling sorry for another, which in turn causes that person to resent the fact that they know that they're pitied, or to feelings of sorrow for themselves. Its unproductive, and nothing good can come of it."

"Even so…"

"Jack…" Locke cut him short before Jack could finish what he had been about to say. "I used to feel bitter, of course. The taunting angered me the most, grown men acting as though they were still kids in the school playground. They hated me for the games I played, war games mostly, but what they didn't understand was that those games were the only way I could feel whole again… normal. I had dreams Jack, dreams which were taken from me the moment the nerves in my spinal cord were severed."

"Normal?"

"Like everybody else…" Locke faltered. "We all have limits Jack, boundaries set that we find that we cannot cross, no matter how hard we try. It's just that some people's limits are a lot more obvious than others."

Jack nodded in silent understanding.

"What was it in the end?" Jack asked.

"Partial nerve damage." Locke explained. "They operated, but the surgery was unsuccessful…"

"I could have helped you…" Jack sighed. "At the very least I would have liked to have tried… but here, without anaesthesia, without anti-septics, if anything else happens to you there would be nothing I could do."

"You couldn't help me Jack, not then and not now!" Locke said. "I wouldn't consent anyway. I've accepted my fate. I couldn't stand to have my hopes raised only to have them dashed all over again. The one good thing to come out of the crash was coming too on the beach and realising that I could feel my legs again after so many years – although I don't know why and I don't know how, so I don't know when it might all be taken away from me again."

Jack nodded. He could understand Locke's anxiety.

"Did you ever find out the name of your original surgeon?" Jack asked.

"His name was Christian Shepard." Locke said…


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER 6**

 **FLASHBACK**

 **Christian's POV**

It had been a busy day for Christian Shepard, but as he sat sipping coffee in the doctor's lounge on the fourth floor of the New York hospital he contemplated his successes of the day. He was a firm believer that the measure of a man could be seen in the extent of his success, and as a result that they should never be overlooked. Failure however should never be dwelt upon for too long, it was something he had always made sure to impress upon his son Jack.

The young man was dozing exhaustedly on the couch in front of him. He had always advised him never to become too personally involved with the patients, it made it easier to walk away at the end of each day knowing you had done the best job you could – whatever the outcome.

Jack's cup began to slip from he's increasingly failing grip and Christian jumped up to grab it before it spilled the last remaining drops of it's hot, brown contents. As he looked up into his son's face he smiled, it was a rare moment of affection that mostly went unexpressed between the two of them.

Suddenly Christian's bleeper went off – loud enough to wake any doctor from even the deepest of sleep – and as if on cue Jack startled awake.

"It's OK, it's mine." Christian reassured his son.

"Dad?"

"I'd better see to this," He said indicating his bleeper, "you go back to sleep." But he needn't have wasted his breath, as he left the peace and quiet of the doctor's lounge he turned back to see that Jack had already returned to what looked like a very deep sleep.

As Christian exited the lift at the ground floor of the hospital he headed in the direction of the emergency room. At first he did not notice anything unusual for a Friday night, there were quite a few patients waiting to be seen – the odd unexplained stomach ache, and varying degrees of cuts and abrasions to as well as the usual pre-weekend drunks – nothing out of the ordinary.

"Doctor!" A frantic voice called out to him. "In here…"

He turned to see that it was a nurse – trying to attract his attention – from one of the small cubicles. He rushed over.

"What do we have?" He asked her.

"Adult male, mid to late forties, gunshot wound to the left shoulder – probably just a flesh wound but there is no obvious exit site." She told him.

"Right… let's take a look at him." Christian said, as he entered the cubicle and made his way over to his patient.

"Ummm doctor there's something else…" The nurse added. "The paramedics were saying that the patient was complaining of severe neck and back pain when they arrived at the scene. Apparently witnesses say that the shooter drove off before turning around and coming at the victim whilst he lying in the road, he didn't stop, not even when he hit him."

"Right." Christian sighed, nodding as he turned to examine the man, who was semi-conscious and groaning upon the bed before him.

"Sir, sir can you hear me?" He asked.

"Helen!"

"Helen?" Christian asked, confused.

"Where is she?" The man asked.

"I don't know." Christian replied. "You're in the hospital. Can you tell me your name sir?"

"Helen!" The man cried out again.

"I'll get someone to find her for you." One of the nurses explained placing a comforting hand on the injured man's shoulder. "Don't worry."

"Can you tell me your name please sir?" Christian repeated.

"John…" The man moaned, weakly.

"John what?"

"…Locke."

 **Locke's POV**

Locke wanted to scream. Every jump of the hospital gurney brought on a new wave of intense pain that surged through his back and neck, like a million razor sharp blades had been inserted into his spine – cutting through not only soft tissue but also bone and nerves. For a while he had been fading in and out of consciousness and when he finally came too he could hear voices, far away at first but they gradually became clearer until finally he was able to hear what they were saying. A man was bending over him.

"Sir, sir can you hear me?" He asked.

A wave of panic washed over him – he couldn't feel his legs.

Helen! Where was she? Had she been with him when it had all happened? Was she alright?

"Can you tell me your name sir?" The man persisted.

His name? What was his name? He couldn't remember. He just kept saying the first name that came into his head.

"Helen!"

He felt a comforting hand placed upon his shoulder as more pain surged through him. The voices were becoming more distant again as he fought to cling on to consciousness.

"Can you tell me your name please sir?" The man repeated. The answer came to Locke painfully slowly, but he continued to try to recall, knowing that the answer was just on the tip of his tongue…

"John…" He murmured.

"John what?"

"…Locke." He groaned, before everything went black.

…

When Locke regained consciousness the first thing he became aware of was of how tired he still was. As he opened his eyes he was struck by the harsh light of the hospital room and he raised a hand instinctively to shield them from the glare. It took them a while to become more accustomed to its fluorescent glow, but as they did he opened them again and noticed the familiar figure of a woman dozing fitfully by his bedside. An arm was stretched across his legs… but Locke began to wonder why he couldn't he feel her weight pressing down upon them?

"Hel…Helen?" He whispered. She stirred. "Helen?" He stroked the back of her hand lovingly as she opened her eyes.

"John?" She mumbled, then as if she'd suddenly realised the significance of his having regained consciousness she jumped to her feet. "JOHN!… nurse, nurse!" She cried.

"Yeah, it's me" He smiled as a nurse rushed in.

"He's awake." Helen grinned at her. "He's awake!"

"I'll page Doctor Shepard" The young woman told her, before exiting.

"What's all the fuss about?" Locke asked.

"You mean you don't remember?" Helen asked him.

"I just remember pain." He shook his head.

"Oh John…" She choked, tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry."

"What for?" He asked, stroking her hair with a slight frown as she sat back down beside him – her reaction was making him nervous, although he didn't know why.

"There was nothing anyone could do, the doctor's said it was just a case of too little, too late!" She said.

"What is it Helen?" Locke asked. "Come on, you're starting to scare me."

"Everybody did their best." She explained. "Doctor Shepard was great, but in the end they said the nerve damage was just too great… I'm sorry John they're saying you will probably never walk again!" She broke down in his lap.

It took a while for this information to sink in. Locke was silent for a long time, struggling to force back his tears – but he couldn't suppress them forever. The realisation didn't sink in at first - his brain just didn't seem capable of taking in something of such great a magnitude - but when it did finally hit him it's impact was far heavier than the car which had dealt him the damaging blow. Helen was there for him when he finally broke down.

"I'll kill him." Locke growled, his tears staining his cheeks. "I'll kill him for what he's done to me!"

"No John you don't understand, it's nobody's fault, there was nothing…" Helen faltered.

"You don't get it do you?" He asked her.

"Get what?" She frowned.

"My father! He was the one driving the car…" Locke exclaimed.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Jack was in a daze, he knew he was running so hard he could feel the jar of his feet as they came into contact with the harsh ground. He could feel the strain and pull of his muscles as he pushed himself harder and harder to escape from the harsh reality this new island existence was forcing him to confront. Not to escape it entirely or run away from his problems – that wasn't Jack's way – but just to escape, if only for a little while, and spend some time alone to reflect on some of the things that had happened in the past few weeks since the crash.

He reasoned that he probably had a couple of hours to himself before he would be needed back at camp. Locke was now resting, Kate was there for Sawyer if he needed anything – not that that was much of a comfort to Jack – and Charlie was already on the steady road to recovery thanks to Claire and the tentative, neutering way with which he had handled his care.

Nothing of what Locke had told him seemed to be sinking in properly. Jack was confused – Locke must have put two and two together. It was no coincidence that Jack and Christian shared the same surname, so why had he told him? To make him feel even worse about his father than he already did, Jack wondered? Was he in some way trying to punish Christian for lashing out at his son? Or was there something else? Something Jack didn't yet understand?

He couldn't quite read Locke. Older he may be, but wiser? Sometimes Jack questioned that, but Locke that always seemed to be one step ahead of him. No one else had made him feel as small as he now did since his father – and there was a part of Jack that deeply resented the older man for that.

Jack felt an angry tug in his knee and it occurred to him that he was still running. He came to an abrupt halt, looking around him as he realised he had no idea where he was. How far had he come? He wondered. Judging by the pain in his feet too far to follow a short trail back or call out in the hope that someone back at camp may hear him and respond.

 _Why had he not followed his own advice and stuck to the familiar path through the jungle?_

Panic started to set in as he sat down on a nearby boulder; he hadn't felt the like of it since the day before he had been forced to operate on his wife Sarah. She had still yet to become his wife at that point, but Jack had loved her from the moment he had first laid eyes on her.

She had been young, and attractive, and had had a real strength of spirit and character – she had been a fighter, and this had been what had got her through what had been the toughest time in her life.

The first thing he had noticed about her had been her eyes, as she'd been wheeled in to his operating theatre.

Her case had provided Jack with just the sort of challenge he thrived on – and nothing much had changed the last time Jack had seen her – except for one thing. The last time Jack had seen her she had been filing for a divorce, and he had been signing the divorce papers.

It had seemed as though any love they had once felt for each other had turned into hatred and resentment and each new day saw them growing further and further apart.

Why was he been forced to confront all this all over again? Hadn't he already been through enough?

He started thinking about Kate – they too had had their fair share of ups and downs – did she really love him? In the way that he _knew_ he loved her? Or was their relationship destined to go the same way?

Was her destiny already married to Sawyer's? He didn't think he could bare it if she chose Sawyer over him.

He tried not to allow his mind to wander, he had to focus on the present – on getting himself out of this sorry mess he had gotten himself into. He looked up at the sky, which from where he was sitting was not completely obstructed by the canopy of trees – was it him or was it darker?

Closing his eyes he started to count 1, 2, 3 – suddenly he heard the crunch and snap of the dense vegetation as though someone was walking through the undergrowth. "4, 5" He said out loud, not wanting to open his eyes again in fear of what he might see. As he finally did so however a relieved smile spread across his face as he saw the familiar figure appearing through the clearing.

"KATE!" He exclaimed.

"Jack." She grinned.

"How did you know where to find me?" He asked.

"I followed your trail, you know it's a good job I'm fit." She laughed, only slightly out of breath. "You're a tough one to track."

"How long have you been following me?" He asked her.

"About an hour." She replied. "Sun came by and offered to keep an eye on Locke and Sawyer, she seemed to be under the impression I could do with a break." She smiled. "You know I probably would have caught up with you sooner, apart from the speed at which you were running, and I got lost a couple of times… had to double back and find your trail again. I don't think we're too far from camp."

"We'd better be heading back." Jack said. "I want to check up on Faith and I can't stray away from Locke and Sawyer too long."

"Jack…" She faltered. "I kinda wanted to talk to you about Sawyer. That's part of the reason why I followed you out here."

"What is it Kate?" Jack asked concerned. "Is he any worse?"

"No… he's fine." She reassured him. "There's no change there… he…"

"He what?" Jack frowned.

"He told me he loves me." She revealed – the confession evidently embarrassed her, or at least made her feel awkward – and she appeared desperate to get her confession off her chest as soon as possible. It was probably not the kindest, nor the most sensitive way to let Jack know that he had a rival

"Oh…" Jack felt his heart sink a little. This is exactly what he had been dreading. "Is that it?" He asked her, trying to sound as though it was no big deal.

"What do you mean is that it?" Kate asked, surprised by his reaction – or lack of it.

"Well for a moment there I thought it was something really serious." He replied.

"Jack…" She pleaded with him.

"What?" He asked her. "The man has a right to declare his love for you Kate if that's how he really feels."

He sighed.

He noticed the questioning look in Kate's eyes as he said this, as though she was about to do something that she was not entirely sure was the right thing to do. He then saw this morph into an expression of determination and she showed no sign of hesitating as she embraced Jack, pulling him down by the neck towards her as their lips met in a passionate kiss.

This kiss lasted several seconds as they embraced, drinking each other in – breathing hard, both of their hearts hammering.

She smiled as the two of them separated. "I told him I loved you." She told him. "I'm sorry Jack, I couldn't think how to tell you. I'm not very good at this sort of thing."

"That makes two of us." Jack grinned. "Although you seemed to do a pretty good job to me!"

"So then," Kate hesitated, "tell me! Have I just made a massive fool out of myself?" She asked him.

"Come here…" Jack laughed as he pulled her closer to him. Nobody noticed the two as their lips met for a second time. Jack felt almost complete, he _would_ have felt complete if it hadn't been for the nagging voices in the back of his mind. There could be no denying Locke's revelation – his father, cast a black cloud over the proceedings, and no matter how hard he tried it wouldn't be ignored…

"Come on." He smiled eventually, taking Kate gently by the hand, and beginning to lead her away from the clearing. "We'd better get back. I've been gone far too long already."


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER 8**

Jack checked on Locke early the next morning just after he'd looked in on Sawyer – who he'd found to be sleeping soundly. He had heard that Locke had had a rough night and sure enough when he looked in on him he found Locke awake, laying down on his back staring off into space.

"Hey John." He said as he entered, Locke snapped out of his contemplation, "How are you feeling today?" He asked him.

"Better." Locke smiled. "Thanks to you Jack. I know what you did for me out there the other day can't have been easy, knowing how you feel about me at the moment."

"No…" Jack faltered. "Look if you feel up to it this morning I need to take a closer look at your leg. At the very least you'll need your bandages changing, and you may need stitches."

"Fine by me" Locke smiled.

Jack smiled back. "I'm afraid it's not going to be very pleasant." He explained. "I could try giving you a sedative if I need to cut away any of the flesh around the wound but there's no guarantee you won't wake up anyway as soon as I start the procedure."

"You've got to do what needs to be done Jack." Locke nodded. "I understand. I don't need a sedative."

After a while of examining Locke's leg Jack looked up.

"I think you'll be alright." He told him. "The flesh is pretty healthy and there's no lingering signs of infection. We may get away with just stitching it."

"Whatever you think best Jack." Locke replied – he seemed far too indifferent for Jack's liking.

"Do you have a favourite colour?" He asked him humorously.

"Pardon?"

"The thread… we have red or black?" He explained, holding both up for Locke to see.

"Plain old black." Locke smiled.

"This is going to sting a bit." Jack warned him.

"That's ok, I'm no stranger to pain…"

Locke flinched as the needle penetrated his skin for the first time and as Jack settled into the rhythm of stitching Locke's leg his mind began to wander.

Maybe it was the fact that this was a minor procedure he had carried out so many times before, but he started to think about the first time he and Kate had met. Had it really been destined destiny? He asked himself. Locke seemed to believe that everything currently happening on the island was meant to be.

Could their meeting have really been down to more than mere chance?

What if Kate was the reason Jack had survived the crash? He couldn't help but question what separated him from so many of those who had died – what separated any of them in fact? Luck must have played its part – at the end of the day they were all just statistics – those who had lived, and those who had died. He got to thinking about the events of the previous evening; the kiss they had shared had been a passionate one – more than just a moment of weakness. Jack remembered the feeling of his lungs about to burst as his body desperately fought with him to breath, yet not wanting to pull away from Kate. Her body had been solid and clammy against his, her skin soft and delicate. The night they had spent together out in the jungle had been exotic, their tongues reaching for each other, tied in knots. Their bodies bound by invisible rope wound from the silent understanding and acceptance they shared. There was something about Kate, Jack thought, something different. She could be vulnerable – there was no doubt that there were things in Kate's past that hurt her, scars that may never fully heal. But at the same time she was strong willed, an independent – and could be just the tiniest bit manipulative.

Things had been different with Sarah – she had been much more dainty, someone to protect rather than to make love to – Kate was both. Sarah had been into shopping, pretty dresses, make up, perfume, and getting her hair done – when she could afford it. She used to spend hours making herself look pretty for Jack whenever there was even the slightest suggestion of a party, or an outing - but he _had_ loved her – intensely. It had torn him apart the day she had left him. Jack had never known pain like that he had felt in the months that had followed – but there was no doubting that the love he felt for Kate was different. She had chosen him over Sawyer, Jack could not forget that. He knew that if Sawyer cared for Kate as much as he himself did he would be going through emotional hell at the moment, and he did not envy him… But Jack did not believe in destiny…

"You know Kate asked me something very similar just after we crashed, when we first met out there in the jungle." Jack finally told Locke.

"What's that?" Locke asked.

"She asked me what colour thread I wanted." He said. "Out there in the jungle, just before she fixed me."

"And is that how you see what you're doing for me now? Fixing me?"

"I'm still here aren't I?" Jack shrugged.

"Argh…" Locke suddenly gritted his teeth in a pained grimace, and let out a breath so quietly - almost as though in hope that Jack would not hear him.

"You alright Locke?" Jack looked up.

"Yeah…yeah…I'm fine." Locke replied. "The needle just stings a bit that's all."

Jack gave Locke a dubious look. He suspected that Locke was still in more pain than he made out – he was certainly very pale this morning, Jack had noticed.

"I'm nearly done now." He reassured him. "Just a couple more stitches, it's a deep wound."

Locke went suddenly silent, turning his head away so he did not have to face Jack, and nodding in silent response.

"There, all done." Jack said as he tied off the last stitch. "You need to get some rest now Locke. I need to go and check on Sawyer again, and Charlie. I will be going down to the beach later, but Sun will he here to keep an eye on you, so no wondering off anywhere, you're still weak. If you need me send someone down to fetch me, I won't be far away."

"Hey what is this?" Locke strained to ask as he tried to sit up.

"I just don't believe you when you say you're fine Locke. You're too quiet – there's something you're not telling me."

"We all have things in our past that we would like to keep a secret Jack." Locke replied.

"The past does not matter, it's the here and now that concerns me."

"I'm fine."

"So you keep saying… look Locke I can't keep you here against your will. If you really want to go, go, I can't stop you, but you needed my help and I gave it to you, and in my professional opinion you still need to remain close to camp… there's still the possibility of a relapse… I could give you something to help you sleep." Jack suggested more gently.

"It's OK Jack, I'll manage." Locke replied.

"I'll be back to check on you later then." Jack said as he left. He didn't notice that as he did so Locke lay doubled up in silent pain.


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER 9**

Jack made his way down to the beach to check on Charlie. The worry of everything that had happened over the past few days was really beginning to get to him – and on top of all that he now he had the added concern for Locke. He had not been convinced by the man's charade back at the caves. Locke may have been making every effort not to show Jack how ill he was actually feeling, but Jack was still a doctor. The tell tail signs of sickness were all still there, and Locke's attempts to avoid looking Jack straight in the eyes gave him the uneasy feeling that things may in fact be much worse than they had initially appeared. He could only hope that Charlie was faring better.

As he stepped out of the canopy of trees and his feet sunk down into the warm sand of the beach Jack noticed Claire standing outside the front of her tent, gently lulling her new baby boy to sleep. She hadn't got around to naming him yet, and with no official documentation to control every aspect of their life on the island there was no need to rush. As Jack drew closer he noticed how exhausted Claire looked, and he hung back for a while watching as she affectionately brushed the stray strands of her son's fine blond hair away from his forehead whilst singing a rendition of 'Catch A Falling Star'. At one point he noticed her stumble and decided he's presence had gone unnoticed quite long enough.

"Hey…" He hailed her in greeting, bending down slightly until he was within Clare's field of vision, which had so far been lovingly fixed upon the tiny infant in her arms.

"Hey!" She smiled, looking up.

"How you coping?" Jack asked.

"Alright." She nodded "He hardly allowed us a wink of sleep all night, but Charlie stayed up with him for most of the time… except when he needed to feed." She elaborated.

Jack laughed.

"Yes." He said. "The only thing a father can't provide for his child… pitty that most of the time a baby cries that's what they want."

"Charlie's not his father!" Claire glared at Jack defensively.

"Yeah… well…" Jack faltered, taken aback by her reaction to his words. "…he's as good as in this place isn't he?"

Claire paused for a moment – thinking – then she smiled. "Yes, yes I suppose he is." She nodded.

Now that Claire was looking at him directly Jack began to notice things about the young woman he hadn't when she had had her back to him – her cheeks were very flushed. He frowned.

"Claire when was the last time you had something to drink?" He asked her, placing his hand to her forehead to check her temperature.

"I haven't had much of a chance this morning," She confessed, "what with this little one, and Charlie, I guess I just forgot…"

"You're very hot." Jack told her. He opened his rucksack and handed Claire one of the many water bottles he transported from the caves to the beach daily. "Here," He said, "drink the lot, you need to take extra care of yourself now Claire, especially with this virus going around, you and your baby are more susceptible to things like that, at least until you're both feeling a little stronger."

Claire smiled and nodded. "Thanks."

"You may want to move your shelter a little further up the beach away from the glare of the sun." He advised her. "You could get Sayid or Michael to help you with that. Being in such close proximity to the heat probably isn't aiding Charlie either… how is he by the way?" He asked – remembering his intended reason for visiting.

"Still a little weak I think." Claire explained. "As I say he sat up with this little one all night so I could get some rest, but he was feeling a little sick when I woke up this morning so I've made him go and lie down."

"Well you certainly seem to have everything under control here." Jack nodded. "When Charlie wakes up just make sure you give him this…" He said handing her a single capsule from a rapidly dwindling pill bottle that he had just presented from the inside of his rucksack. "It's just simple aspirin but it should help, and if he starts vomiting again make sure you send someone to get me straight away."

"I will do." Claire nodded.

"Well, I'll see you around then." Jack said, picking up his backpack and starting to walk away.

"Thanks Jack!" Claire called after him.

Jack just turned to look at her and smiled.

As Jack walked on further up the beach he noticed Michael walking in his direction – he appeared deep in thought. As he approached he wasn't sure Michael had seen him at first, however Michael must have noticed Jack out of the corner of his eye and did a double take before making his way over.

"Hey." Jack greeted Michael with a smile.

"Hey, sorry Jack." Michael apologised. "I was miles away."

"How've you been?" Jack asked.

"What, you mean with this virus going around?" Michael enquired. He smiled at Jack and nodded. "I've been fine."

Jack smiled back. "How's Faith?" He asked.

Michael turned to look at her sitting in the shade of a near-by palm tree, where Jack had not observed her. "She's been a little woozy these past couple of days." He explained.

Jack looked on as Michael took a long hard look at Faith, and he smiled, it was as if Michael couldn't take his eyes off her.

"What?" Michael asked when he finally turned away from Faith to see Jack grinning at him.

"Nothing…" Jack smiled, shaking his head. "It doesn't matter."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Faith looked up from the shade of her chosen resting place. She could see Michael talking to Jack and frowned as Michael turned to look at her. Were they talking about her? She wondered.

She supposed that it was only inevitable that Jack should be taking an interest in her condition, from what she had seen of him and the way he worked she could tell that he was a good doctor and she had to admit that she had hardly been in the best frame of mind when he had left her the other evening.

She started to think about Michael and smiled. Although she couldn't help but think that all the attention he had lavished on her over the past few days had been rather an unnecessary waste of his time he had been great all the same. Her heart leapt as, even from this distance, she saw Michael smile at her and raise his hand in a silent wave. Faith found herself doing the same as she noticed him and Jack making their way over. Jack was smiling. There was no denying over the past couple of days she had developed something akin to feelings for Michael – at first she had just put it down to her gratification for his kindness, but now there was no denying that she longed for more. She longed for every moment she spent with him, and now even the slightest glimpse of him brought the tell tail combination of great pain and joy to her heart that Faith knew could only mean one thing…

"Hey." Jack smiled down at her. "How're you feeling?"

"Good." She responded, shielding her eyes from the glare of the bright sunlight as she strained to look up at him.

"Good." He nodded in response. "Mind if I take a look at you?"

Faith shook her head.

Jack knelt down beside and she smiled, he gave her a long hard look as if studying her for subtle signs of sickness. He removed his small torch from his pocket and shone it in her eyes, checking her pupil's response. After that he made her do a whole host of exercises like following his finger and then examined the area of Faiths jaw that had been hit the other day.

"Well you appear ok." He told her, "Your jaws still a little tender… I noticed you flinch when I touched it, but that's to be expected. Have you got any pain anywhere else?" Jack asked.

"No." Faith shook her head.

"No tenderness in your stomach?" He asked.

"No, I don't think so…" Faith said.

As Faith said this Michael gave her a disapprovinglook, and she responded with an uncertain glance in his direction. Jack noticed Faith's expression and looked from one to the other.

"Faith?" He pressed her.

"I _have_ been quite sick the past couple of days." She admitted.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Jack asked.

"I didn't want to waste your time…" She told him.

"Faith you're not wasting anyone's time," Jack reassured her, "you need to start thinking more of yourself if you want to start getting along better on this island. You're not going to last long if you don't even tell me when you're sick. So much goes on in this place that people are easily overlooked if they don't speak up for themselves. I'm not a mind reader." He smiled.

"I understand." Faith nodded. "I'm sorry…"

"There's no need to be sorry Faith," He assured her, "but do you mind if I examine you properly?" Jack asked.

Faith shook her head, and smiled slightly.

"OK… just start by laying down on your back… that's it…" He said as he helped her to lie down. "Now I'm just going to lift up your t-shirt… alright I'm going to press down on your stomach, I need you to tell me if it hurts anywhere OK?" He looked at her.

"OK." She said.

As Jack pressed down on Faith's stomach she was relieved that she experienced no pain or discomfort.

"Well…" Jack concluded, finally. "You appear fine, it may be that the sickness was caused by the blow you received the other day, or it could have been totally unrelated… do you feel sick now?" He asked her.

"Not as much as I have been." She said. "I feel a little better today."

"Have you been sick at all?"

"No."

"Well that's something, there's not really anything more I can do I'm afraid, just make sure you drink and eat as much as you can, if you don't feel like food it doesn't matter for now, just make sure you get plenty to drink."

"I will." She nodded. "Thanks Jack."

"Don't mention it. I'd better be going." He said, getting to his feet. "If you need me I'll be at the caves, I don't need to check on you again though, just make sure that if you have any concerns – and I mean _any_ concerns – you come and find me, don't go keeping it to yourself."

As Faith watched Jack leave her attentions returned to Michael who she noticed was still kneeling beside her.

"You know," she said looking up at him, "I think I could do with a walk."

She held out her hand and he helped her up. Maybe she would give things between them a while to settle, build on their friendship and see where things led, after all, what was the rush here?


	11. Chapter 11

**CHAPTER 11**

"So then freckles, a convict who digs the moral type, I never would have guessed…" Sawyer smirked – mocking her – as Kate placed a wet towel to his forehead. He had first shown signs of fever several hours ago, and was, by now, soaked with sweat.

"Just lay still." She signed – she had seen all this coming even before Jack had asked her to tend to Sawyer whilst he went to check on Locke. "Jack says you need to rest." She told him.

"Who are you two kidding?" Sawyer spat at her – and Kate wasn't sure whether it was the fever or genuine hate which fuelled his spiteful words. "It'll never last. Once we get rescued…"

" _If_ we get rescued!" Kate reminded him.

"When we get rescued…" Sawyer grinned, seemingly pleased by the fact that his words seemed to have upset her. "Jack will go back to being the all high and mighty hero doctor, and, there's no escaping it Kate – you're going to jail."

Sawyer paused for just a brief moment to allow these harsh words of truth time to sink in. He wanted to catch a glimpse of the look on Kate's face. There was something perverse about the pleasure he was taking in making her feel as miserable and worthless as he felt at the moment. She was the first woman he had ever truly loved… and she had turned her back on him… Or maybe it was just the sickness that was making him feel sorry for himself.

Either way he liked the way his biting words felt as they tripped off the cold, hard edge of his tongue.

"Jack won't be able to deal with the stigma of dating a convict." Sawyer told her. "Sure he will visit you at first, he will promise you the world, he will fill your ears with all the usual crap such as how he will always love you, how he will always be there for you, but sooner or later he will tire of having to comfort you. He will tire of waiting for you. You're a murderer Kate, there's no guarantee once they catch up with you, once you hear the sound of those prison gates closing behind you, that you will ever come out."

"And what makes you think a life with you would be any different Sawyer? Any better?" Kate growled, tears welling up in her eyes. "Maybe on this island where there is a limit to how many one night stands you can have. You might have convinced yourself that you love me, but once you get out into that big wide world…"

"You're forgetting that I am a murderer too Kate…" Sawyer cut in. "You see we're cut from the same mould you and me, we understand each other. At least you know your fate, my actions haven't caught up with me yet… maybe they never will, but then again maybe…" Suddenly Sawyer's whole body was overcome by mini convulsions and he began to shiver. "We're from the same mould you and me Freckles, we understand each other." He reiterated.

"I love Jack!" She snapped.

All of a sudden Sawyer's eyes bulged, and he reached out helplessly for Kate – his chest heaving with the effort it was taking him to breathe…

"Sawyer? Sawyer what's happening?" Kate asked him, all of her anger immediately evaporating as it was replaced by stone cold fear.

"K… Kate!" He wheezed, triggering a violent coughing fit.

"Don't worry…" Kate's voice came out firm but reassuring, she was surprised she could still appear so much in control of herself when in reality all her insides had turned to jelly. "Don't talk, just breathe."

"I'm OK." Sawyer said after a while, the cough had slowly subsided and to Kate's relief whatever it was that had appeared to afflict him had faded as suddenly as it had started. "Don't tell me you were worried?" He asked her with a smile.

"Don't do that to me again!" She glared back at him, although there was a faint flicker of relief on her face as she said it.

Her relief was short lived however when Sawyer suddenly paled. He quickly flung himself over onto his side facing away from Kate and vomited… again… and again.

"That's it I'm going to fetch Jack." Kate jumped up.

"…It won't last…" She heard Sawyer mumble under his breath as he gasped for air.

"Not for me, for you." She called back at him as she hurried from the caves, afraid to leave him but driven by the sound of Sawyer retching as she ran.


	12. Chapter 12

**CHAPTER 12**

Jack sat on the edge of the waterfall, staring up at the late evening skies above. A breeze blew, but the weather was not particularly cold – it never was around here, and yet it still chilled him to the bone. He had stayed a while talking with Locke, trying to get to the bottom of what was troubling him, but to no avail. Locke was still insisting that he was well on the road to recovery. After a while Jack had insisted Locke needed to rest and had given him something to help him sleep. At first the man had refused it as he had done earlier, but Jack could detect the pain in his voice and had deduced, without too much effort, that the sleep he had managed to grab earlier in the day had been broken and restless.

Finally Locke had relented, and he had sat with him for what had felt like hours after he had taken the medication – until he was sure that the man really was asleep.

If nothing else rest could only help to speed up the rate of his recovery, even if the relief from his pain would only be temporary.

Now he sat alone, lost in a trail of his own thoughts and contemplations… it was not often he got a moment like this to himself and he was not sure whether he liked it or not. The sound of the waterfall soothed him, he was so exhausted that had his thoughts not been so troubled it might have lulled him to sleep… but it was also far too quiet at the caves tonight, and it unnerved him. It made him wander what kind of storm might be brewing beneath the smoke screen of tranquillity.

"Hey, you OK?"

Jack turned, startled, to see Hurley approaching him. He greeted the man with a friendly, if not slightly forced, smile.

"Hey yourself." He said, and nodded. "I'm fine."

"You sure dude? You look a bit…" Hurley paused, obviously trying to think of the correct phrasing. "Out of it…"

"Just a little tired." Jack smiled. "What with Locke and Charlie, and now Sawyer, I've had a lot to think about lately. I guess I can't have been sleeping properly."

"I just came up here to fill some of these." Hurley said indicating a rucksack full of empty water bottles. "I don't suppose you could give me a hand in filling them all could you?" He asked.

"Sure." Jack said before he had even thought about it, as Hurley began to unload the bottles and started filling the first one. There were eight of them in total. Jack didn't know whether they were all for Hurley himself or whether he was planning on sharing them around as he very often did. On the first evening of the crash it had been Hurley who had taken it upon himself to distribute food and water to the hungry survivors – a job he still sometimes took upon himself to do, especially if someone was sick or unable to get up to the caves themselves for water. He had helped Claire out in this way many a time during her pregnancy, and his kindness hadn't escaped Jack's notice.

As Jack began filling the bottles he sought comfort in the monotony of the whole process and it was not until he was onto filling his fourth bottle that he heard the sound of someone else approaching. He turned, this time to see Dexter – a young man Jack had treated several times for severe dehydration during their first few days on the island.

"Hello Jack." Dexter greeted him rather formally. Jack assumed this was due to the fact that they hadn't actually spoken much since those first few days – Dexter living as he did at the beach and Jack at the caves – but at least he had abandoned addressing him as 'Doctor' at last.

"Hi, Dexter isn't it?" Jack asked, knowing his name but trying to start up a conversation with the young man.

"That's right." Dexter nodded. "I just came up to get some water… I… I…" Suddenly Dexter swayed and fell, fortunately Jack noticed just in time to pre-empt what was about to happen and sprang forward to catch him before he hit the ground.

"Dude, what's up with him?" Hurley asked Jack as he lowered Dexter to the ground.

"I don't know." Jack told him, all traces of his previous exhaustion gone now as he switched back into doctor mode. At a second glance Dexter still appeared fully conscious however, and his cheeks began to glow and burn with embarrassment.

"Sorry…" The young man apologised. "I don't know what came over me."

"How do you feel now?" Jack asked him.

"I never felt ill or anything in the first place." Dexter replied. "Just fuzzy all of a sudden. Normally when that's about to happen I can tell."

Jack placed his hand to Dexter's forehead to check his temperature. He pulled it away quite quickly, looking concerned. "You're burning up!" He told him.

"I told you I feel fine." Dexter responded, standing up.

Jack followed his lead, still looking concerned. He was about to question Dexter further when he heard he's name being called from elsewhere.

"Jack! JACK!"

"I'm here." He called. As he turned Dexter managed to slip away unnoticed – he obviously didn't want anything further to do with Jack, despite the fact that he had only been trying to help. Kate came running out of one of nearby caves where Sawyer was supposed to be resting.

"Jack, it's Sawyer!" Kate exclaimed.

"What's wrong?" Jack asked her.

"I don't know." Kate replied. "Something's really wrong… we had an argument."

"What happened?" He pressed.

"He seemed unable to catch his breath." Kate explained, tears in her eyes as she spoke. "But then he appeared to recover… and now he won't stop vomiting."

"I'm coming!" Jack said jumping up, but Kate did not move. "Kate I'm going to need your help." Jack indicated for her to follow.

"It's my fault… it's all my fault…"

He didn't hear as Kate muttered something under her breath as she followed…


	13. Chapter 13

**CHAPTER 13**

As Jack set foot into the caves he was met with the overwhelming sourness of Sawyer's vomit, and – to his horror – the smell of blood. Sawyer lay choking, trying to sit up in the corner of the cave, and, hoping that it was too dark and Sawyer was too out of it to notice that he was probably bleeding internally, Jack made his way over to him. He was having trouble breathing and as Jack applied gentle pressure to his shoulders to try and encourage him to lie down again so that he could roll him over onto his side he noticed that his lips were tinged with grey.

"Sawyer this is anxiety." He tried to reassure him.

"No…" Sawyer choked, the effort causing him to shake and shiver triggering another coughing fit.

"Sawyer listen to me…listen to me." He demanded when he wasn't sure that Sawyer was really focusing on what he was telling him. "Are you listening?" He asked.

Sawyer nodded.

"Remember when Shannon had her asthma attack?" Jack asked.

"How could I forget?" Sawyer sneered before doubling over in pain.

"Don't try and talk, just nod your head."

Sawyer glared at him as if to say; _'I've answered the damn question_ _already_ ', before appearing to soften slightly as he looked up at Jack, and he nodded.

"She started to panic," Jack continued, "it's only natural, you think you're dyeing and you try to fight against it, but you're not going to die Sawyer, I won't let you!" Jack turned as he heard Kate enter. "Where were you?" He asked her.

"I…er…I needed to get my head together." She said. "Sorry."

He smiled at her sympathetically, in understanding. Sometimes he forgot that he was more accustomed to dealing with medical emergencies such as this than most. "Could you pass me the yellow pill bottle from inside my rucksack please?" He asked her.

"Sure." She replied and started sorting through an array of water bottles and medical supplies for the bottle.

"This it?" She asked, pulling out a yellow coloured pill bottle with a pitiful amount of pills rattling around in the bottom.

"Yeah, thanks." He nodded, taking it from her. "Sawyer I want you to take one of these." He said tipping a single small pill out onto the palm of his hand holding it out for Sawyer to see the medication that he was offering him. Sawyer gave it a dubious look. "It'll make you feel sleepy." Jack explained. "It'll make you feel better. That way I can take a closer look at you."

To their surprise Sawyer did as Jack said, swallowing the pill down in one gulp. Jack smiled encouragingly at Sawyer as he looked up at him, a glimmer of fear visible beneath the smarthy facade for a moment before his face hardened once more.

"It'll be OK Sawyer." Kate tried to reassure him, but Sawyer only offered her an angry glare in return. He was blaming her for this, she could see it written all over his face. He hated her… and Kate could quite understand why. It was her fault all this had happened – Sawyer was sick and she should have had the self-restraint to not retaliate, and realise that his words were not his own.

Tears began to well in her eyes and she turned quickly to prevent Jack from seeing them as they trickled down her pale cheeks. Suddenly the room began to spin… and would not stop! There was a buzzing sound inside her head, and for a moment she felt as though her heart was beating on the outside of her chest, the same pulse inside her head making her feel as though her skull was about to explode… then it stopped as abruptly as it has started and Kate tried to steady herself – stumbling loudly in the process.

"You OK?" She heard Jack's anxious voice ask her. He didn't turn around to look at her, and so didn't see her struggling to right herself.

"Yeah." She replied, quickly wiping away her tears before turning back round to face him. She saw his face, eyes full of concern for her – and in that moment she knew that she had chosen right in him. "I just tripped over something that's all. I can't see where I'm going in here." She offered Jack a false smile – which he returned – before forcing herself to look at Sawyer. The drugs had got to work quickly once inside his system, he was still obviously conscious, he's eyes were still slightly open, but now he reminded Kate more of a child who was too tired to keep their eyes open but really didn't want to go to sleep – either that or one of the incapacitated drunks that she used to see as she wondered the streets of Los Angeles every night on her way home from work…

"How is he?" She asked.

"It's not looking good." Jack told her.

"What do you mean?"

"I will know more once I've taken a look at him." Jack explained, obviously not prepared to commit himself to divulging the facts about Sawyer's condition until he was sure about what he was dealing with. He went over to his rucksack and removed something sharp from the front zip pocket, Kate recognised it as a sewing needle – maybe even the one that she herself had been forced to use on Jack during their first day on the island. She couldn't be sure but she was aware of the fact that Jack had been sterilising and reusing a lot of their supplies – he'd had to – otherwise they would have run out weeks ago. Grasping one of the fingers on Sawyer's right hand Jack started to insert the needle into the tip of the man's finger, obviously checking for a pain response. Sawyer's reaction was almost instantaneous as he tried to pull his finger away, and when that failed – as Jack was still holding it in place – he let out an involuntary whimper of pain, and Jack finally released his grip on the finger and Sawyer's hand dropped back limply to his side.

"We're going to have to be gentle with him." Jack said, turning to Kate. "The drugs I have just given him are just enough to take the edge off his pain, he's still feeling more than I would have liked, the sedative stops him objecting to anything I may do though."

"How bad will he feel it?" Kate asked.

"Pretty bad." Jack told her. "It's not going to be pleasant for him. He's going to need a lot of support…"

"And that's where I come in?" Kate cut in, suddenly realising the reason for her presence.

"Well I can't be his doctor and his nurse at the same time." Jack pointed out, a pleading note in his tone as he took Kate's statement as an objection.

"What do you need me to do?" She asked with a slight sigh.

"Just stop him from moving around too much, he's likely to become very agitated once I start to examine him but you should be able to keep a control of him. If it gets too much for him just try and comfort him, it shouldn't be too difficult."

Kate nodded as she took her place next to Sawyer.

"Ready?" Jack asked her.

"Ready." She replied.

"OK…I'm sorry Sawyer but this is going to hurt." Jack said as he lifted up his shirt and pressed down lightly on his stomach. Sawyer groaned and tried to turn over but Kate made sure that she placed herself firmly up against Sawyer, preventing him from moving. Jack continued to palpate Sawyer's stomach with his hands, taking precautions not to press too hard, but Sawyer eventually gave up trying to move himself away from Jack and let out a whimper in protest. At this Jack gave a grave sigh and sat back, his arms resting loosely over his knees. "He's bleeding internally." Jack looked up, concluding finally.

"Is it bad?" Kate asked.

"It's not good." Was Jack's response. "My guess is that the lining of his abdomen has been weakened, possibly by the virus, but more likely due to the vomiting, the coughing fit he had when you came to fetch me must have ruptured it."

"Is there nothing you can do?" She asked, scared.

"Well that's the thing… it's not a particularly heavy bleed. Back home it would certainly be enough to result in a trip down to surgery, but it would be fairly simple to fix. There's no way I could even contemplate the procedure here though… I think it's best if we leave him for the moment, keep him sedated… there's really nothing more that we can do." He explained. "If he makes it through the night then he should stand a better chance. I'll stay with him tonight.

You look tired Kate, why don't you try to get some sleep?" He asked her.

"I'm fine." She said.

"No Kate you're not, you're exhausted."

"How can I sleep knowing what I've done?" She asked.

"What do you mean?" Jack frowned.

"Don't you see? All this is my fault! The argument was my fault!" She exclaimed.

"Kate…" Jack said getting up and reaching out his arms to hold her – comfort her. "You cannot blame yourself for this. This virus is an unknown phenomenon to us all, nobody could have predicted that this was going happen. This is not your fault!

Ummmm… would you keep an eye on him for a moment?" He asked as an afterthought, indicating towards a sleeping Sawyer. "I'm just going pop out and get some water."

"Sure." She nodded. As he left the caves with two empty water bottles in hand he gave her a reassuring pat on the shoulder, she never noticed as he slipped something into his pocket.

…

Jack stood by the waterfall, a small yellow pill bottle resting in his hands as he looked down at it. There were only a few pills left, which didn't make his decision any easier.

He removed the lid of the pill bottle, tipping it up, and, taking one of the already filled water bottles dropped a single pill inside before replacing the lid and slipping the pill bottle back into his pocket. Twirling the water bottle around in mid-air until he was sure that the tablet had completely dissolved, he made his way back into the caves.

"How is he?" He asked Kate.

"No change." She told him.

"Here, I brought you some water." He said, offering her the laced bottle.

"Thanks." She responded gratefully, reaching out to accept it from him before taking a few large thirsty sips from its contents. Jack smiled, going over to check on Sawyer – but still he kept glancing back at Kate. After a few moments he attempted to resume the conversation.

"It's going to be a long night." He told her. He frowned as she suddenly put her hand to her head and stumbled. "I really think you should sit down Kate."

"What's going on?" She asked as she suddenly came over very faint. Jack started manoeuvring her over to another corner of the cave, and she felt herself being gently lowered to the ground.

"It's OK." He reassured her, his face swam in and out of focus as unconsciousness beckoned to her. "I'm sorry." He said. But any further words failed her as she fell into a deep and restful sleep.

Assured that Kate was as comfortable as he could make her Jack then turned his attentions back to Sawyer.


	14. Chapter 14

**CHAPTER 14**

 **FLASHBACK**

 **KATE'S POV**

 _He was dead – gunned down – and now he was dead. Those bullets had been intended for her… but there was nothing she could do now. The police would deal with his body – the body of the man she had as good as murdered – the body of the man that she loved – Tom._

 _She wanted to stop running, she couldn't hear the sound of the sirens any more. She couldn't hear the sound of anyone chasing her – they had given up on their pursuit, and she was no longer running to escape them, but to get as far away from him as possible – the body of the man they had just shot dead instead of her._

 _Maybe he wasn't dead, but maybe even now lying in a hospital bed barely clinging onto life. She wanted to turn back – to go running back in the direction she had just come, but that would be playing into their hands and no good would come of it._

 _Tom was dead – she had seen the blood – too much blood for him to have survived. She had held his limp body, called to him without response, and she knew in her heart that he'd gone. If she turned back now it would all be for nothing… and so she kept on running._

 _Tears of grief flooded her eyes and spilled out over onto her cheeks. Their salty sting was blinding but she numb to everything beside her overwhelming grief – it made her feel sick. Her feet were raw from running, her shoes rubbing away layers of skin as though it was nothing more than tissue paper, but she tried to focus on her physical rather than her emotional physical pain. It reminded her that she was still alive… still human._

 _"Tom…" She whispered to herself, fighting against the upheavals of her chest. She was really crying now, she could hear her own pathetic wailing above the busy city traffic. So many people's lives had been destroyed because of her – her stepfather's, her mother's, Tom's… his families. Their lives had been altered forever because of what she had done. She wanted to tear her guts out with her bare hands, so many times since that evening had she longed for the sight of blood – her own blood to replace that which she had spilt – she wanted no more of it._

 _How could she even live with this guilt for the rest of her life? She was just now beginning to realise the mistake she had made the evening that she had killed her stepfather – now that she had lost everyone and everything which had ever meant anything to her… and that's when she realised that she had stopped running._


	15. Chapter 15

**CHAPTER 15**

As Kate came round the next morning she could hear Sawyer's cries long before she opened her eyes. The first thing she noticed was how stiff she felt – as though her spine had set to the shape of the cave wall which she now found herself propped up against – a blanket cloaking her near icy body. Then as she opened her eyes and her vision started to clear she noticed the first signs of daylight manifest themselves as the subtle rays of light, tinged with gold, that were beaming through the mouth of the cave. Her attentions were immediately drawn to Sawyer – writhing and crying out in pain not too far away from her. She didn't notice anything out of place at first – apart from the intense pain he appeared to be in. Her mind still felt very much detached from her body, but as she gradually began to take in her surroundings she noticed that his body was completely bare – his t-shirt had been completely removed, and a large bloody scar was visible across his bare stomach.

In a state of sudden panic Kate stumbled to her feet, nearly toppling over in her haste to get to him – her co-ordination still pretty much non-existent.

"Sawyer?" She asked, her voice shaking with fear.

"I had to do it." She heard an exhausted voice from behind her and turned to see Jack sitting in a corner of the cave, his hands covered in blood, his face red and blotchy from where it was obvious he had been crying. Fresh tears in his eyes spilled out onto his pale cheeks but he made no attempt to wipe them away.

"What did you do to him?" Kate demanded, her own eyes filling now.

"The bleeding wasn't stopping Kate." Jack explained. "I had to do it or he would have bled to death before the night was out."

"Do what?"

"I had to operate on him Kate… it was the only way."

Kate looked shocked – all anger evaporating from her frightened face as Jack's chest began to heave and he cried bitter tears of despair.

Kate looked at Sawyer for a moment – still writhing in pain before her, but tore her gaze away from him almost immediately. A conflicting combination of pitty and distain swelled within her as she remembered Sawyer's spiteful words to her the night before – in painful contradiction to the love that they had once felt for each other, a love that for Sawyer still remained.

But so much had changed for Kate over the past few months of being on the island, and it was only now that she received the final confirmation that she no longer felt that way about Sawyer anymore – when she could look upon the body of the man her soul had once burned with an aching passion for and feel for him as nothing more than a friend.

"I've given him something for the pain." Jack explained, despite the upheavals of his chest.

"Hey." Kate soothed as she crawled over to him, wrapping her slender arms around his solid body in an intimate and affectionate attempt to comfort him. "You did your best… you always do your best… I should have been there for you last night." She added.

"Kate…" Jack said, about to point out that it wasn't her fault – It had been his decision to sedate her – he had thought that he was doing the right thing, but he decided against it.

"I _really_ needed you last night." He told her instead.

Kate smiled. "I know you did. This is all my fault."

"What? Don't be silly Kate."

"Last night he told me you would leave me, that this would never last…" She sighed, looking over at Sawyer. "He told me… he told me that you would come to resent me because… because of what I am."

"And what are you?" Jack asked, puzzled.

"A murderer." Kate spat. "And it doesn't matter what I do Jack, I can't take back what I did. I've lost my worth as a human being…"

"Hey, you're worth something to me!" Jack said, lifting her chin gently and forcing her to look at him. "I love you."

Kate looked back at him dubiously.

"Kate I will always love you… and I will never leave you." He assured her.

"Yeah, that's what he said you would say." She muttered.

"It's the truth Kate." Jack urged. "I don't know how I could have survived stranded on this island without you. If I could I would marry you tomorrow with no second thoughts… no regrets… if no one else ever again, can you not learn to trust me? Can you not believe in what I am saying to you?"

Kate looked at him, it was her turn to cry now. "I know…" She muttered.

"What do you know Kate?" He asked her, wanting to hear her say it.

"I know you love me… because I feel the same… but what if we ever get rescued? If they lock me up for what I have done? Would you still love me enough to wait for me then? Knowing how long they might put me away for?"

"For better or worse." Jack smiled, Kate responded with a slight laugh.

"I was just so angry with him last night." She explained. "I almost wanted something like this to happen to him… just so he could feel the pain that he was causing me… but then when it did… and now… all I felt was fear. I don't want him to die."

"He should be OK." Jack reassured her. "He came through the surgery reasonably well which was the toughest part, he's strong and if he's able to evade any infection he should be up and around again in the next few weeks. I've already started him on anti-biotics… apart from that there's not much more I can do for him I'm afraid."

"Come on." Kate smiled as she got to her feet, noticing that her presence was appearing to be having a desirable effect on Jack. He had stopped crying, and seemed a little more like his usual self again.

"Where are we going?" Jack asked er as Kate helped him to his feet and he took a few steps towards Sawyer to check on his wound. "That's going to need dressing later." He took note before trying to sooth his semi-conscious patient. "Shhhhhh, Sawyer you need to rest now. I will be back to check on you later."

Kate waited to make sure that Jack was satisfied that Sawyer was going to be alright for a while before guiding him out of the cave. Both flinched at the bright sunlight of the approaching day as it stung their eyes.

"You still haven't answered my question." Jack pointed out, smiling a genuine smile for the first time in hours.

"You need to get yourself cleaned up first." Kate observed the state of the man before her. "You're a mess."

Jack looked down at his blood soaked hands and grimy body – his face still streaked with sweat and dry tears – and immediately made a beeline for the waterfall. As he began to wash away much of the dirt from his hands and face Kate crept up behind him and as he turned to see her looking longingly up at him their lips locked in a long and passionate kiss.

"What's this for?" Jack tried to ask, grinning as Kate continued to suck on his lower lip.

"For being amazing." She muttered as she pulled away for a brief moment. "Where are you keeping Locke then?" She asked.

"The cave next to Sawyer." Jack pointed out. "That one there." He indicated a cave to the right of the one they have just vacated.

Kate turned to the third cave – the one reserved for the storage of the supplies – and with an unexpected strength and eagerness dragged Jack deep into the mouth of the cave. Their lips locked again immediately. Jack took a tight hold of her around her waist, holding her closer to him whist he kissed her neck lightly and she held onto him tightly. Not a word was uttered between them, at that moment there was no need, both knew how they made each other feel and each knew that the other felt the same – even if the moment felt somewhat awkward given the current circumstances.

Even so they couldn't help themselves – their desire was too strong. Before they knew it they were on the floor, both locked together in their embrace, their arms and legs entangled making them for a moment one and the same, not daring to take the moment any further in fear of it coming to an end too soon… and then the moment was gone…

"Jack! JACK!" Suddenly Artz burst in on them.

"Artz!" Jack was furious as he ripped himself away from Kate on impulse. A look of shock froze on Kate's face as she scrambled to her feet.

"Oh…. Erm…. I'm sorry Jack." Artz faltered uncomfortably as he turned his gaze away. "Hurley told me you were in here… I swear I didn't know…Look erm…"

"Just get on with it Artz!" Jack snapped as Artz stood there stammering, struggling to get his words out in his embarrassed state.

"It's Dexter…" Artz strained to explain. "He collapsed last night."

"Oh god!" Jack moaned, his anxiety creeping into his voice, and this new revelation making him soften slightly.

"I didn't dare come to you earlier." Artz tried to explain.

"Why not?" Jack asked, the frustration momentarily creeping back into his tone.

"The jungle is a dangerous place at the best of times… but at night…" Artz shivered at the thought. "Would you honestly expect me to risk coming all the way from the beach to the caves on my own in the middle of the night?"

"So you would risk a young man's life for your own selfishness?" Jack accused.

"It'll just be dehydration…" Artz struggled to rationalise his cowardice "He was never in any real danger."

"That's where you're wrong!" Jack glared, anger pooling into every crevice of his stony expression. "A man nearly died last night, you're fully aware of this virus going through the camp, nobody is safe anymore, nobody! Every man and every woman is at risk! We have a baby to take care of now, and you're prepared to risk everybody's lives – the life of someone barely more than a kid himself?"

Artz opened his mouth as though he was about to respond but Jack was no longer interested in anything he had to say. "I have to go to him." He said turning to Kate.

"I'll come with you." She offered.

"No, I need someone here to keep an eye on Sawyer, you stay and get some rest." He urged her. She nodded.

He then hastily gathered up some supplies, before storming from the caves.

Not another word was exchanged between Artz and Jack until they were part way down the path to the beach. Jack was still seething when he finally spoke.

"Artz never do that to me again, do you hear me?" He growled, and Artz nodded sheepishly – averting his gaze.

"Has he been getting enough to drink?" Jack then asked him, turning the conversation back to Dexter.

"I've had to sit up with him all night," Artz replied – and to his continued annoyance Jack thought that he sounded slightly resentful of this fact as he spoke. "He's been downing bottle after bottle but he can't seem to keep anything down."

"What the bloody hell is going on here?" Jack frowned. Confused and frustrated he could only blame himself for not attempting to contain the virus sooner.

""I'm sorry Jack, I've done all that I can for him." Artz apologised – but somehow Jack very much doubted this.

"Where is he now?" He asked.

"Laying down."

"He's not in the sun is he?" Jack pressed him, concerned.

"Not directly, no." Artz explained. "I tried to help him move closer to the jungle but he collapsed part way up the beach so Jin helped me fix a tarp over him to keep him as cool as we can, and then I came to get you."

"Jin? How did you manage that one?" Jack asked, aware that Jin spoke very little English.

"I know some Korean." He revealed matter of factly – If not a little hesitantly, obviously fearful of Jack's reaction.

"Really? Why did you never tell us this before?" Jack was shocked, and the older man's secretiveness only added to his increasing feelings of annoyance. He had never trusted Artz.

"I'd rather not go into that at the moment." Artz flinched away from Jack – as though suddenly overwhelmed by a long repressed memory – leaving him momentarily grief stricken. "I don't know enough for it to have been of any significance anyway."

And with that Artz seemed suddenly to shut down, retreating into himself – and Jack could see by the look on the man's face that he wasn't going to get any more out of him – he was no psychologist – and so it was that the two men continued their journey in silence…


	16. Chapter 16

**CHAPTER 16**

As Jack and Artz came to a clearing in the jungle and stepped out onto the beach they were immediately spotted by a frantic Jin who came running over to them, gesturing dramatically and speaking incoherently in Korean. Jack stood in confused silence for a moment, struggling to get his head around the language barrier between himself and the man now standing before him, before quickly taking control of the situation.

"Wo, hey, Jin calm down, I can't understand you." He spoke slowly, raising his hands above his shoulders as he tried to make sense on the flow of indistinguishable words coming from from Jin's mouth. His recent frustration at Artz only increased as he noticed the older man out of the corner of his eye starring dumbly at the two men, totally at a loss at how to handle the situation. Suddenly Jin put his hands to his throat and started to imitate a vague retching motion as he pointed to a spot a little further up the beach, and as Jack turned to look in the direction Jin was pointing he suddenly understood as he spotted the blue tarpaulin not too far away from where they now stood.

"What kind of a state was Dexter in when you left him?" Jack asked turning to Artz as they both began to follow Jin back up the beach, obviously concerned by Jin's apparent state of panic and distress and the growing realisation of what they were now facing as it became increasingly apparent with each new case of what this new virus was capable of.

"Pretty out of it I think." Artz spoke gravely. "He appeared to be in quite a lot of pain. I couldn't get much sense out of him."

"That'll be the dehydration." Jack explained before adding, "Did you notice anything else about his condition?"

"Like what?"

"Any blood in his vomit? Anything that looked remotely alarming about his physical appearance?"

"No… no I don't think so." Artz stammered as he tried to recall anything, but without success.

"Well at least that's something."

Suddenly Jack heard the crunch of sand below approaching footsteps as they neared the makeshift tent and he turned to see Charlie as he emerged from within and began to make his way stiffly towards them.

"Charlie what are you doing here?" Jack frowned.

"I thought I could be of some help." He croaked, and Jack was troubled to hear that his voice was distinctly weaker than it had been when he had seen him last – his face pale and covered in a film of sweat – he stumbled slightly and Jack ran to steady him. "I'm OK." Charlie insisted as he pushed Jack away.

"Charlie your immune system has been shattered." He insisted as he looked him over uneasily. "You're still vulnerable to infection, you can't risk anymore than you've already been through."

"I just figured I understand what he's going through." Charlie looked at Jack desperately. "I've been nothing but useless to everyone I've known nearly all my adult life… I just hate feeling so helpless."

"You need rest Charlie, I'm here now." Jack reassured him. "Claire and the baby will be waiting for you, go to them. I'll come and check on you later." He patted the young man gently on the shoulder as Charlie offered a brief smile before they watched him as he walked unsteadily away. Jack was tempted to go to him a couple of further times as he noticed him continue to stumble but resisted the temptation as he recognised that it would not be appreciated and instead turned his attentions back to Dexter as he entered the tent.

Dexter lay curled up, shivering as he pulled an old blanket tightly around himself for comfort and warmth. He held his legs pressed tight to his stomach in a semi-foetal position in an attempt to deaden the pain. As Jack approached him cautiously, he flinched at the sound of the older man's voice and withdrew further into himself – giving him a brief fearful glance out of the corner of his eye.

"Dexter?" Jack asked, his voice sympathetic. Although he himself had so far thankfully not contracted any symptoms of the virus whilst treating those afflicted, he had witnessed the devastating effect that it had had on Locke, Sawyer and Charlie and could well understand the young man's fear as he knelt down beside him.

"Go away." Dexter whispered – quite uncharacteristically hostile towards the doctor. Although Jack had not taken much time to get to know the youth over the past few weeks since the crash he and had found him to be highly polite and sensitive, if not a little quiet during the few brief snippets of conversation that they had shared.

"I'm afraid I can't do that Dexter," he spoke softly, "not this time." He remembered that the first couple of occasions the boy had been brought to him had been nothing too serious. "I need to take a closer look at you." He explained.

Dexter did not respond, either out of fear or anger – in fact he completely failed to react to the doctor's refusal to leave him alone, and as Jack noticed the young man's eyes begin to close he was initially concerned that Dexter had given into a long encroaching unconsciousness. To his relief however, as he placed his palm to the young man's forehead – Immediately feeling the heat of his dangerously high fever – Dexter pulled away, revealing that he was at least partially aware of his surroundings.

"My mouth feels dry." Dexter rasped, licking his dry lips as he did so. At this Jack gently reached over to pinch a small area of the paper like skin on Dexter's pale arm and watched as it slowly sank back into place, a solid indication of dehydration.

"I need to see you drink something." Jack said, his expression full of urgency. "Artz tells me you've been unable to keep anything down all night, do you think you could manage a couple of mouthfuls for me?"

To Jack's relief after a moment of consideration Dexter slowly nodded in agreement. "I have nothing to lose." He whispered as he watched Jack remove a full, fresh bottle from his rucksack and begin to unscrew the lid. As he allowed himself to be helped into a sitting position Dexter's immediate reaction was to take long, hard gulps of cold water as Jack held the bottle steadily to his lips – regretting his haste almost immediately as the cool liquid caused a sudden sharp stab of searing pain to erupt in the pit of his stomach, and as he doubled over with its intensity he once again found himself choking as he vomited uncontrollably.

Jack immediately jumped out of the way as the young man struggled to get to his feet, only to find that the sudden movement caused another surge of pain to course through his body. "I'm sorry." He apologised, once he had recovered.

"Just lay flat for a while." Jack said as he lowered Dexter's slim body back to the ground, taking his legs and laying them straight on the dry sand for the first time since he had entered the tent. Dexter lay breathing heavily for a moment, his chest and diaphragm wracked with minor cramps from the exertion of his movement. Jack sat beside him, watching his young patient closely as he allowed him to rest for a while before he appeared to fall asleep – he then leant quietly over him as he lifted his shirt to the point of his ribs.

"What are you doing?" Jack jumped slightly as Dexter suddenly turned to him – catching him off guard.

"I'm just taking a closer look at you, just try and lie still for a moment, this will probably hurt but just try to remain calm." He explained.

Dexter flinched and groaned as Jack applied weak pressure to his abdomen testing his response to pain, he clenched his hands into tight fists in an attempt to prevent himself from pulling away from Jack but as he increased the pressure on the younger man's stomach he cried out, unable to take it any longer.

"No more!" Dexter pleaded, tears in his eyes.

At this Jack ceased to continue to put his young patient through the obvious agony of examination and without word simply replaced Dexter's t-shirt, offering him a sympathetic smile to which Dexter forced a response in return.

"I wish you would have let me check you over last night." Jack sighed, his voice grave. "You definitely have this virus Dexter… there's no doubt about that. The problem is with fluids you should start feeling better pretty quickly but your stomach is still pretty inflamed, you won't be able to even contemplate taking anything by mouth for quite a while I'm afraid."

"It all just crept up on me so quickly." Dexter explained. "I felt fine yesterday… I thought I was just dehydrated."

"We're going to have to find an alternative way to get fluids into you." Jack took a moment to think before an idea occurred to him, and without hesitation he rose to his feet. "I'll be back soon." He told the man, before he left the tent.

Outside Jack squinted against the orange glare of the sun, surveying the beach for any signs of Jin, but without luck.

"Hey Sayid." He called, noticing the other man a little further up the beach. "Have you seen Sun or Jin?" He asked once he had successfully attracted Sayid's attention.

"Yeah I think I saw him fishing." Sayid indicated in a vague direction somewhere to the left of Jack with an outstretched arm, shouting to make himself heard as he still stood some distance away.

"Thanks."

Jack set off in haste in the general direction Sayid had given him, his cause was urgent, although as he spotted the young couple as he drew closer to the waters edge he smiled to see Sun with her arms wrapped around her husband, laughing as she watched him try and negotiate the large make-shift fishing net whilst kissing her affectionately at the same time. Their relationship had been rocky lately and the time they spent together was still unpredictable, although watching them both now it was clear that they still loved each other very much. At one point they both stumbled, soaking themselves as they nearly ended up in the water and stifling a small laugh Jack finally made his appearance known in the couple – not forgetting the nature of the business which had brought him here, and his urgency.

"Hey Sun."

"Jack?" She turned to him suddenly, eyes wide with surprise, although a small smile was still visible on her face.

"Can I speak with you for a moment?"

"Sure." She frowned as she began to make her way slowly over to him. "What about?"

"Do you remember when I gave Boone his blood transfusion?" He asked. "I need another needle."

"Yes… I kept the sea urchin." She explained.

"Good… in that case I'm going to need you to do me a favour."

Jack then began to tell Sun about Dexter's condition and explain his plan to her. She listened intently to him as he explained all that he needed her to do.

"If you need to, get Jin to help you." He concluded at last. "I will be back at the beach when you are ready. I'm sorry I can't come up to the caves with you but I can't risk leaving Dexter for too long at the moment."

"It's OK, I know what I'm doing." Sun smiled as she prepared to leave, making a mental note of everything Jack had asked her to collect, as well as all that he had asked her to do. Then as he watched as Sun and Jin disappeared, sheltered by the dense growth of trees as they made their way up the path through the jungle towards the caves, Jack turned back the way he had just come.

Back at the tent Dexter was relieved when he saw that Jack had returned, the young man looked exhausted and although Jack had only been gone a matter of minutes to the sick youth it had felt as though he had been alone for hours. He wasn't up to talking much but the company appeared to have a calming affect on him and as a further hour passed the two sat in silence – Jack occasionally popping his head out with each new sound of approaching footsteps to observe the unusually quiet stretch of beach – but the afternoon passed uneventfully and after a while Dexter sank into a restless and troubled sleep.

Jack himself had just started to settle during a very rare moment of relaxation quiet – his eyes closing as his tired body was warmed by the heat of the sun's rays – when he heard the sound of voices spoken in Korean outside and he jumped up, waking Dexter too as he did so. As he popped his head out the tent he saw Sun and Jin making their way up the beach towards them.

As Jack approached the couple he noticed that Jin was carrying the cooler that he recognised Sun had brought to him on the evening of Boone's blood transfusion and further inspection revealed that Sun was also weighed down by the heavy load of a rucksack filled with medical supplies and water.

Jack smiled in greeting as he gratefully accepted the cooler from Jin, who smiled in return as Jack turned to Sun.

"Thanks." He said.

"Do you need anymore help?" Sun asked as she assisted Jack in hooking the heavy rucksack over his muscular shoulder.

"No I'm fine. Thanks." Jack said – time now of the essence. He hadn't yet explained his plan to Dexter, who he was sure was not going to be too accepting of what he was about to do, and he knew that too many people present would only aggravate the young man's anxiety.

When he re-entered the tent Dexter was yet again fully awake and struggling to sit up. Jack knelt down beside him, restraining him gently.

"I'm going to need you to lie still for me now Dexter." He explained as he raided the supplies Sun had brought with her for gauze and anti-septic, tipping a small amount of the clear liquid out onto a fresh strip of cloth to clean an area of Dexter's arm where a vein lay.

"Why?" Dexter asked, slightly alarmed.

"We need to try and find a way of getting fluids into you pretty quickly." Jack explaned, barely registering the anxiety on Dexter's face as he watched him remove a small black needle from the nearby cooler and a length of fine plastic tubing that Sun had brought with her in the rucksack. "I'm going to try and set up an IV using one of the water bottles…"

"No!" Dexter suddenly cut him off, Jack turned to see genuine fear in the young man's eyes.

"It's the only way."

"Ever since I was a kid I've been terrified of needles. Growing up that was all I was ever really frightened of, nothing else, but it was enough. I said no."

"That's assuming that you have a say in this." Jack said, taking his eyes off Dexter as he struggled to make a hole in the end of one of the many water bottle Sun had supplied him with. "The decision has already been made for you!"

"What, by you?" Dexter frowned.

"No, your own body has made the decision for you. You can't keep anything down but if I don't get fluids into you soon you could die… of course I can't force you into anything." Jack paused to look at the young man who froze suddenly when he heard this – silent and unmoving – his own fear driving him into a mild state of shock as the sudden realisation of the severity of his condition hit him hard.

"Could I really die?" He asked at last.

"Yes…" Jack explained. "But you won't, I'm not going to let that happen… that's why you have to let me do this."

Both men looked hard into each other's eyes, and in that moment Jack observed Dexter's facial expression change from the soft, vulnerable complexion of a mere boy and harden into that of a man, with the knowledge that the right thing to do was not always the easiest.

"Just make it quick?" He asked, his voice shaking slightly. Jack nodded, and as he felt the sharp sting of the needle as it gently slipped into the vein he winced and turned away.

"You'll be fine." Jack tried to reassure him. "It'll be over before you know it."


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

That evening it was still light when Jack returned to the caves. His lack of sleep the night before and the day's emergency had taken its toll on his tired body, but he was pleased to see Kate waiting for him as he came up the path from the beach. She was smiling warmly as she soaked her dark hair in the water from the waterfall, recoiling slightly with the shock of its unexpected chill.

"Hey." She grinned as he approached her.

"You'll give yourself a fever if you carry on like that." Jack observed, eyeing critically the half full bottle of water which she was now holding.

"I'm such a mess." Kate pointed out as Jack smiled back at her, removing the bottle firmly from her loose grip as he held her – drawing her closer to him as he tipped its remaining contents away, causing the pool of water to splash and ripple violently at his feet.

"You look great." He reassured her as their lips locked in a brief moment of passion before they pulled away, embracing each other tightly.

"How's Dexter?" Kate asked.

"He's doing well." Jack told her with a brief nod of his head, indicating that he was feeling positive about his progress. "He won't be up and around for a while yet, but the drip worked so with fluids we should begin to notice an improvement in his condition within a day or so."

"That's good." Kate smiled absent mindedly as she felt the heat of Jack's warm torso against her damp face, and snuggled her head in closer to his body – rejoicing in the moment of uninterrupted contact between the two. They continued to sit in silence for a while until Jack noticed that Kate appeared to be falling asleep and he delicately stroked her soft cheek as he tried to wake her gently.

"You look exhausted." He commented as she opened her eyes. "Go and get some rest Kate. I need to check on Sawyer and Locke anyway. Sawyer's wounds will need dressing by now." Jack knew full well why Kate still appeared so tired and was immediately consumed with guilt with the knowledge that the drugs he had given her the night before had still fully not worked their way out of her system.

"Are you sure?" She asked him drowsily as she looked up at him with lazy eyes. "You don't need any help with anything?"

"Kate I'm sure I can handle things." Jack smiled down at her as he helped her up.

"What about Sawyer?" She asked as an after-thought as she staggered unsteadily on her feet, watching with a slight smile as Jack struggled to steady himself, trying not to topple over on top of Kate.

"Sorry." She apologised.

"I don't think he's in any state to give me much trouble." Jack explained, as he kissed her passionately on the lips. Then watching her walk groggily away he swiftly turning his attentions to his two patients – forcing himself not to think about the traumatic events of the night before… having to believe that what he had done had been the right thing to do.


	18. Chapter 18

**CHAPTER 18**

Jack was relieved to find that Sawyer was asleep when he entered the cave. He stood in the shadows and watched him for a moment as he flinched involuntarily with every breath, the upheavals of his chest pulling painfully on his stitches. Then with a final sigh of apprehension Jack approached Sawyer's exhausted form, gently shaking him awake.

"Not you again doc!" Sawyer grunted as he finally opened his eyes, initially slow to respond to Jack's encouragements. "Why don't you just leave me alone?"

"How are you feeling?" Jack asked.

"What do you care?"

"Not this again Sawyer…" Jack despaired of him. "I need to dress your wounds."

Sawyer did not respond, he watched Jack as he emptied his rucksack of water, gauze, anti-septic and bandages – his face painted with a disconcerted look. Finally Jack turned back to face him and his expression changed in a moment into one of hatred and vague, disguised fear.

Sawyer did not get up, he remained lying down – too weak to do anything about manoeuvring himself into a sitting position, not wanting to give Jack an excuse to stay any longer than was absolutely necessary.

"This might sting a little." Jack warned as he began to clean the wound. Sawyer grimaced, yet remained silent as Jack worked at applying gauze and layers of bandages, administering only weak pressure to Sawyer's abdomen… but it was only a matter of time before his anger and frustration got the better of him.

"I don't know why you're bothering to put things right now doc." He spoke at last, a resentful tone to his voice. "You're the one who did this to me… I guess you figure that by patching me up and sticking me back together with bits of tape now will win you extra points with your new girlfriend."

Jack stopped what he was doing and glanced up at Sawyer, a bemused look clouding his expression.

"Yeah that's right." Sawyer continued, thriving on the fact that he now had Jack's full and undivided attention. "Girls always dig the hero."

"I'm sorry?" Jack asked.

"Let me make this a little clearer for you to understand doc." Sawyer spat out with a venom which seemed to indicate an inner pain far exceeding anything he would ever allow anybody to fully recognise. "You… did… this… to… me!"

"Sawyer there was no choice, you were bleeding internally, you would have bled to death before the night was out had I not opened you up." Jack explained as he turned back to the task in hand and attending to his reluctant patient's wounds.

"Of course there was a choice!" Sawyer suddenly snapped. "You could have let me die!"

"I wasn't about to let that happen."

"Oh no?"

"No!"

At this Sawyer appeared to soften slightly, his anger depleting as grief and self-pity took over. "I wanted to die." He said at last.

"You don't mean that." Jack shook his head. Although he had taken in everything Sawyer had said so far, he was still unsure of how to handle this new and apparently vulnerable side to Sawyer's character.

"Oh don't I?" Sawyer asked, his familiar southern drawl creeping into his cocky tone, disguising at least some of the pain he had been fighting to contain since Jack had first awoken him from his disturbed sleep. "She made her decision Jack, she chose you… what more is there left for me to live for?"

Jack finally understood. Sawyer turned away from Jack just as he added the final layers of bandages, indicating that he did not want to discuss the subject any further. But Jack knew that he still had to get Sawyer to take the painkillers and an assortment of anti-biotics that he had brought with him in order to prevent any potential infection, which Jack knew was a grave possibility in the non-sterile environment they were now struggling to survive in.

"Sawyer I need you to take these." He said as he removed a combination of pill bottles from his rucksack and tipped out a selection of six pills into the palm of his hand, offering them to Sawyer.

"Bloody hell doc you trying to overdose me or something? You'll have me rattling if you make me take all those." Sawyer scoffed as he turned to view the assortment of drugs Jack was offering him.

"I need to see you take these Sawyer." Jack dictated. Sawyer gave him a begrudging look as he swiftly swallowed down three of the pills.

"And the rest." Jack said as he indicated the remaining medication left on his hand.

"Come on doc…" Sawyer smirked, but Jack wasn't having any of it.

"And the rest!"

Sawyer offered Jack one last contemptuous glare before finally accepting the remaining pills. "Happy now?" He asked.

"Thank You." Jack said, hating himself almost immediately as he noticed his voice failed to disguise the relief he was now feeling that getting Sawyer to take his medication had not been half as tricky as he had initially thought it would be. But it was not in Sawyer's nature to give Jack the satisfaction of letting him have the final word and he watched the doctor stuff the medical supplies back into his already overflowing rucksack and prepare to depart from the caves.

"I didn't do it for you." He piped up at last. "From now on I only look out for myself!"

Jack didn't turn round to look at Sawyer, he carried on walking, failing to notice that Sawyer had already turned his back on him again now anyway, forcing back the tears of self-loathing and pitiful sadness that threatened to fall. Jack could only hope that Locke was faring better.


	19. Chapter 19

**CHAPTER 19**

As Jack entered the cave adjacent to Sawyer's to check on Locke he was startled to see John up and pacing restlessly. Although relieved that Locke was now evidently on the road to recovery he was still alarmed to notice just how pale he still looked, even in the dull light of the caves. At that moment Locke glanced up at him and smiled, but to Jack's trained eyes there seemed to be something different about John tonight – as though there was something he was trying to hide.

"Hey John." Jack greeted him, slightly uneasy about the fact that there was something not quite right about the older man this evening. "How do you feel?"

"Better." Locke nodded. "Thank You."

"Mind if I take a look at you?" Jack asked.

Locke shrugged his shoulders, shaking his head as an indication that he did not object.

"Just lay down here a sec." Jack said indicating an area of the cave floor that was free of loose boulders and rocks, before helping Locke to lie down, grabbing a small blanket from the bed that he had hastily made up for him the evening he had first brought him back to the caves, rolling it up into a tight ball and placing it under Locke's head to try and make him more comfortable. "There." He said.

Locke simply smiled as he lay back, lifting up his t-shirt to just above his abdomen. Jack guessed that he had simply grown accustomed to the whole process of examination by now, despite the fact that he had left him very much to himself over the past couple of days.

As Jack applied pressure to Locke's stomach he immediately felt his abdominal muscles tense below his fingers, as though the pressure caused him pain, but as he looked up there was no pain registered on Locke face.

"Does that hurt?" Jack asked.

"No… just feels a little uncomfortable." Locke strained.

Jack gave him a wavering look before offering a vague nod of acceptance and replacing his t-shirt before turning his attention to his leg.

He removed the dressings carefully in an attempt not to irritate any inflamed and sensitive areas that still may exist around the wound. Locke winced as Jack tugged gently at the final layer of gauze, which had become stuck to the flesh in a sticky mess of blood and infection – but to his relief as it was finally pulled away and Jack began to clean the wound with water, rubbing it down gingerly with a strip of clean cloth, the healthy pink tinge of the flesh below was revealed.

"Well it looks like we can finally remove your stitches." Jack smiled. "It shouldn't take very long." He assured him as he removed a small pair of sewing scissors from his rucksack and began to carefully cut away at the thread. Locke made a sharp intake of breath as the first of the stitches were gently pulled from the wound, but the process didn't seem to cause him too much discomfort. "I'm going to bandage your leg again just for tonight." Jack explained when he'd finally finished as he started binding the laceration. "I'm afraid the puncture was pretty deep so your leg will be pretty sore for a while still… Do you fancy a walk?" He asked as in an afterthought. "It might do you some good after so many days confined to bed, and I want to take a look at how you walk."

"I thought you'd never ask." Locke smiled.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

It was already dark by the time Jack set off to find Kate, eventually discovering her where she'd fallen asleep in his quarters – still slightly groggy but seeming much more her usual self than she had been a few hours earlier, much to the appeasement of Jack's conscience.

"Hi." She smiled as he entered the cave. "How are Locke and Sawyer faring?"

Jack tried to force a smile in response to her, but the events of the past few hours had left him feeling drained and frustrated.

"Jack?" She pressed him again, concern growing in her own voice at his failure to respond to her, and she noticed the despondent look in his eyes.

"Sawyer will be fine." He replied at last.

"And Locke?" She asked.

"Locke's gone!" He told her.

"What? Where? I don't understand." She said, getting to her feet hastily – alarmed.

"There's nothing more I can do for him." Jack explained, looking up at her. "To all intents and purposes he's better… I let him go."

"Well then that's good isn't it?" She asked him, relived to discover that he hadn't just taken it upon himself to disappear, and a relieved smile started spreading across her face.

"I don't know." Jack shook his head. "I just can't shake the feeling that there's still something not quite right with him. I get the feeling that he's hiding something, but as of yet I have been unable to get him to open up to me about what it is."

"Maybe he just needs some space." Kate sighed.

"Maybe…" He shrugged.

"You don't sound so convinced?" She frowned.

Jack turned to her and smiled – she was pleased to see that it was at least a genuine smile.

"Thanks Kate." He said.

"For what?" She beamed back at him, somewhat confused by Jack's apparently sudden change of heart. But he couldn't respond as he kissed her gently on the lips.

"For being amazing." He uttered as he pulled away, before asking, "Where did we leave off this morning?"

There was knowing grin spreading across his face.

"Well…" Kate smiled as she jumped on him playfully – both of them laughing hard as they found themselves on top of each other, caressing each other's bodies with every available limb.

"Tonight there will be no more interruptions." He hugged her, holding her tightly to him.

Kate never noticed as the smile faded from his face the instant he knew her back was turned.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

As Jack awoke the next morning he opened his eyes groggily to find himself still tightly wrapped around Kate – who was sleeping peacefully. He smiled as memories of the previous evening came flooding back to him.

It had started out a fools love – at least for Jack – who had let his mind continuously wander back to thoughts of a torn woman. But now there was no doubt in his mind that Kate had made her decision – and she had chosen him.

He lay where he was a moment longer, not wanting to pull away just yet from the warm body of the woman he loved. He stroked her soft skin affectionately, smiling as she stirred, and as he reached up and started caressing her lips she grinned happily back, taking his fingers tightly in her hand.

"That tickles." She whispered.

"Morning." Jack smiled warmly back at her.

"Morning." Her voice was silky and delicate.

To Jack's relief all traces of her previous exhaustion the night before had gone now, to be replaced with a contented gleam. She looked so happy, he thought.

They lay in silence for a moment longer, holding each other close – Kate's head nestled into Jack's shoulder as he ran his fingers through her long dark hair, and caressed it gently with his nose.

"I love you." He whispered softly into her ear. His heart skipped a beat as he heard her response.

"I love you to." She whispered back.

Jack didn't want to be the one to spoil the moment between them, he didn't want to break their sensual embrace. It seemed almost wrong to break contact with her now, but after a moment he realised that unless they wanted to remain here, glued to each other forever, then one of them would have to make the first move.

It was with reluctance that he finally pulled away from her, getting slowly to his feet.

"Hey, where are you going?" Kate asked him.

"I need to check on Sawyer." Jack explained as he kissed her delicately on the forehead. "I'll be back later."

As Jack exited the cool darkness of the caves he was relieved to find that rain the previous evening had left the air outside fresh and crisp and the ground beneath his bare feet smelt refreshingly earthy.

Locke had already left when he made the decision to look in on him before checking on Sawyer – but he couldn't honestly say that he had expected him to still be there, having now received the all clear. It looked as though he had left some time during the night – his bed was un-slept in and as Jack took a brief moment to tidy around the now abandoned cave he noticed that his belongings had also gone.

Jack took a moment to compose himself before looking in on Sawyer. The other man's attitude the night before had left him feeling somewhat concerned for Sawyer's physical wellbeing and state of mind, and he couldn't deny feeling somewhat apprehensive as he leaned against the rocky wall of the cave. He briefly considered putting off checking on Sawyer – after the previous evening a few more hours spent with Kate certainly seemed a more appealing option right now – but as usual Jack's conscience won over and reluctantly he made his way to Sawyer's cave, fully aware of the welcome he could expect to receive.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

Locke had left the caves late the previous evening, and despite still not feeling quite himself had spent a few hours sleeping rough on the jungle floor, tossing and turning in his discomfort.

He had been occupied hunting boar since before sunrise, tracking a large male – who had raided his camp sometime during the night – to a small clearing deep in the heat of the jungle.

Locke had been feeling increasingly nauseous all morning but the thrill of the chase had kept his mind off the sickness, which had left him confined to the caves. Now he lay silently in the undergrowth, his breathing shallow and not so great as he tried to suppress the growing pain in his abdomen. Keeping his eye on the large pig, a slight perspiration started to gather on his forehead as he waited for the appropriate moment to strike – his hunting knife raised and ready.

As the boar steadily moved a little closer to Locke's hiding place he steadied himself, and scrambled clumsily to his feet, before launching himself at the pig as it finally came to a halt a few feet in front of him. As he did so he recoiled in shock as a searing pain struck his abdomen making him cry out in pain – to Locke's horror alerting the boar to his position. He froze, doubled over in silence – it was all he could do to suppress the urge to shout out, as the animal's eyes met with his in a moment that made Locke feel as small inside as the tiniest ant, before in terror it disappeared. He has failed!

His frustrations at losing the opportunity for his first kill in weeks were quickly overridden by the growing fear that the pain in his gut was getting worse rather than better however, and as he tried to straighten up he fell to the floor unable to breathe. Tears of suppressed anger filled his eyes as he began to regret not telling Jack what had really been bothering him. Despite the pills Jack had given him he had only taken a couple for the pain, concealing the rest in his rucksack when the younger man wasn't looking, and inadvertently allowing the virus to take a tighter hold over his weakened immune system. Things had got so bad that he had almost had to give up on the pretence of feeling better.

He knew that if he could control the pain he was now in he would have a much better chance of making it back to the caves – as much as it frustrated him to know that he had probably set his recovery back a number of weeks – and he hurriedly ransacked his bag for the loose pain killers rattling around in the bottom.

He swallowed two of the white pills down in a single gulp, before settling down to wait for the medication to take effect.

Back at the caves Jack was growing increasingly concerned that Locke had not yet returned. After checking on Sawyer, who he was relieved to discover that despite being in a considerable amount of pain was recovering well from the surgery, and spending most of the morning down at the beach with Dexter – cleaning and adjusting his drip – he had hoped that Locke would have retuned sometime around mid-afternoon for his next dose of anti-biotics.

But it was nearly dark when he got back to the caves, and as he came up the path from the beach he was disheartened to see no sign of his return.

"Hey Hurley, you seen John?" He called, as he noticed the other man standing by the waterfall, washing clothes.

"Not since yesterday." Hurley replied. "Why?"

Jack didn't respond – it was then that he noticed Kate emerge from one of the nearby caves.

"What's going on?" She asked as she made her way over to him – an apprehensive frown spread across her face as she noticed Jack's concerned expression.

"Is Locke back yet?" He asked her.

"No… at least I don't think so." She faltered as she tried to recall whether or not she had seen Locke that afternoon – the look on Jack's face making her anxious. "Why? I thought you discharged him." She smiled nervously.

"He's still on anti-biotics." Jack explained. "He should be back by now… if he doesn't get his medication soon he could still become real sick really quickly."

"Then why did you let him go?" Hurley asked, as he approached them, but Jack chose not to respond immediately to the young man, and pulled Kate aside to speak with her more privately.

"This is all my fault." He told her, guiltily, as he guided her in the direction towards Locke's cave. Kate watched him with concern as he began to sort through the jumble of old airline cushions and blankets that had made up Locke's temporary bed. As he lifted a couple of the cushions he heard a subtle click, and looking down noticed a couple of small white pills at his feet.

"What are they?" Kate asked as he bent down to pick them up.

"Locke's painkillers." He sighed as he observed the medication gravely. "He obviously hasn't been taking them. Damn!" Jack slammed his fists down on the bed in frustration.

"We'll find him." Kate tried to reassure him. "Maybe he just lost track of time."

"I thought I was doing the right thing." Jack told her. "I just wanted to try and get him to open up to me. He seemed so much better yesterday. I saw no reason to keep him copped up in here any longer than he had to be."

Kate gave him a quizzical look, encouraging Jack to elaborate on what he meant.

"Locke's hiding something from me Kate, I'm sure of it!" He said.

"Like what?" She asked him.

"I'm not sure, but I'm convinced it's something to do with his condition." He told her.

"Right, well we'll organise a search party for him." She said as she wrapped her arms around Jack's waist and squeezed his ribs reassuringly.

"We _will_ find him!" She told him.

"I know." Jack smiled as he turned to embrace her too. "I know…"

But he wished he felt as sure of this as he tried to sound. He had no doubt that, between them, they would find Locke – whether they would find him in time though was another matter.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

Locke struggled to make it through the dense undergrowth of the jungle, the dawning realisation that he was still a few miles away from the caves filling him with despair. The painkillers he had taken a few hours earlier had provided only temporary relief, and now with each step he took the pain in his abdomen intensified. It felt as though an invisible hand had taken a hold of his guts and was squeezing them into a pulpy mess. His stomach was on fire.

His breathing was ragged and as his chest felt too tight for him to carry on as he came to rest against a nearby palm tree. His head was spinning and he was dizzy from lack of oxygen – he could no longer breathe properly and move at the same time – and he was alarmed to find that his already weakened legs gave way from underneath him. Silent tears rolled down his cheeks as he curled tightly up into a ball. The knowledge that it could be days before anyone found him out here filled him with fear – he knew that in his current condition these would be days he probably didn't have.

"Jack!" He cried out – full of despair – but he barely managed a hoarse whisper. "Jack!"

Suddenly he heard a snap of twigs from behind him and he turned abruptly to see the figure of a tall unfamiliar woman standing before him. It took a moment for Locke's blurred vision to focus enough to see her clearly, but as it did and her hazy silhouette came into clearer focus the dull light penetrating the dense jungle overgrowth revealed her piercing blue eyes and mucky brown face staring down at him – framed by the long chocolate locks of her wavy unkempt hair.

"Who are you?" Locke asked her with as much strength as he could muster.

He felt intrinsically vulnerable – his voice shaking slightly from both the cold which had taken hold within his body, and the pain.

"Are you the French woman?" He pressed after he failed to receive a response from her. He remembered Sayid's tale of the woman who had captured him in the jungle only a week or so earlier.

"Are you sick?" She asked him, finally.

"I need Jack." Locke explained.

"Are you sick?" The woman asked him again.

"Jack… I need Jack… Doctor." Locke strained, trying to make her understand – she may well be his only hope now.

But without another word the anonymous woman suddenly raised her hand to reveal a gun… a gun which Locke was horrified to see she was now aiming straight at him.


	24. Chapter 24

**CHAPTER 25**

"You're not going out there with them?" Shannon fumed as she watched Sayid hastily dress in front of her.

"Yes." He replied.

"And what about me?" She asked him, raising her voice as her anger and frustration began to get the better of her.

"You're not on your own here Shannon." Sayid sighed. "There are plenty of people around to keep you company if you care to join them."

"He killed my brother Sayid!" Shannon growled, as tears swelled in her eyes and spilled out onto her warm cheeks. The couple's peaceful afternoon had been abruptly shattered by the news of Locke's disappearance.

"And I am convinced he did not." Sayid looked at her, unfazed by Shannon's new found hostility towards him. Past events had lead him to experience the bitter and painful grieving process himself first hand, and he found himself not completely insensitive to her emotions.

"So you're just going to leave me?" She asked, her tone bitter as she glared at him hatefully.

"The man you shot in cold blood is out in that jungle alone." He explained, indicating the dense growth of tropical trees where the line of the jungle merged with the beach. "You may not care what happens to him but I do… for your sake as much as my own!" He said.

Sayid despaired at the desperate turn the couple's relationship had taken over the past few days. Shannon had struggled to relate to the suffering of the other crash survivors in the immediate aftermath, but an initial selfish streak had given way to the more softer side of her personality as the pairs friendship had blossomed into a passionate and affectionate romance.

Yet since Boone's death Sayid had found Shannon becoming increasingly more hostile and isolated, and as she continued to shun any form of physical or emotional support he offered to her their relationship had become increasingly strained.

"Cold blood?" Shannon suddenly screamed at him. "My brother is dead!"

"And I understand more than anyone your need for someone to blame." Sayid told her, softly. "But taking your own guilt out on an innocent man, condemning him to almost certain death…"

"Innocent?" Shannon raged, cutting him off mid-sentence.

"It won't kill the knowledge that you should have appreciated what a good friend and brother you had in Boone whilst he was still alive." Sayid continued – determined not to be silenced by her outburst. "You were both given a second chance after you survived the crash, a second chance I fear, unlike your brother, you have not made the most of."

"You know," Shannon snapped as she suddenly turned venomously on Sayid – her eyes alight with the fire of her fury, "you're right, I don't care! And I sure as hell don't have to listen to this!"

"You wouldn't say that if you knew what it really meant to kill someone." Sayid muttered under his breath. "That's why I have to do this."

He looked at her as he turned to leave, but she refused to acknowledge him and turned away.

Shannon could hear the crunch of crisp sand beneath his feet at he walked away from her, her misplaced sense of female pride stronger, in that moment, than her desire to go after him. Working herself up into a state of increased anger and resentment.

Despair finally washed over her however – cooling her angry thoughts – as she cried herself into an exhausted and broken sleep. Sayid never truly realised just how close to the truth he had been.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

A little while later Jack came down the path to the beach. It had now been a number of hours since he had discovered Locke's discarded medication in the sleeping compartment of the caves and he was growing increasingly concerned that he had still not returned. He and Kate had already been out scouring the surrounding jungle for any sign of him, but having found no trace Jack felt that the situation had reached a new degree of urgency and decided it was now time to form a search party.

"Michael!" He called to the young man, whom he noticed standing at the water's edge – soaking his feet in the sea as he sunned his bare shoulders. Michael turned to the sound of his name being called, kicking up droplets of salty spray as he did so.

"Jack!" He smiled as he saw the doctor. "What can I do for you?" He asked.

He could tell by the grave expression set upon his friend's face that this was not a social visit, and that there was something very wrong.

"It's Locke." Jack explained.

"Yes, I'd heard something vague about him being in a serious condition." Michael said, as his voice sank in volume. "I couldn't be sure though. The details were very vague – and you know how rumour spreads here."

"He's gone missing." Jack informed him, gravely.

"What? When?" Michael asked, starring disbelievingly in Jack's direction. Locke was a skilled tracker and huntsman, it seemed inconceivable that even if what people had been saying about him being very sick were true, he could lose himself in the jungle. He knew the terrain better than anyone.

"Early this afternoon." Jack nodded. "It's not looking good I'm afraid. We've already conducted a fairly concentrated localised search but there's no sign of him. If he doesn't get his medication soon he could be in serious trouble. I'm formulating a search party to split up and search for him, but if he's ventured too far into the jungle it could take hours."

"And you need my help?" Michael asked.

"I know you and Locke haven't exactly always been on the best of terms." Jack acknowledged. "I know it's asking a lot. But we desperately need all the man power we can get."

Michael took a moment to contemplate his options – it was indeed true that he and Locke had had their fair share of differences. They weren't exactly on the best of terms, but Walt had certainly been very taken with him.

It was one thing to air your differences with another man – some would even say that this was healthier than keeping them bottled up, to come out more violently at a later date – but leaving him to die alone out in the jungle was a whole other matter.

"Sure." He nodded after a moment, bending down to retrieve his t-shirt from his feet, and throwing it back over his head. "I remember having to do something quite similar for you once." He continued with forced cheer.

Jack offered him a half-hearted smile in response. "Do you have someone to keep an eye on Walt for you?" He asked.

"I'll speak to Sun." Michael reassured him.

"Well I'll see you at the caves in half an hour then." Jack told him. "We have a lot of ground to cover before nightfall and there's no guarantee of the condition Locke could be in if he has to spend the evening out there alone."

"Who else will be joining us?" Michael called after Jack as the doctor began ascending the path back up to the caves.

"Just Sayid and Kate." Jack called back. "The last thing we need are too many people going out and getting themselves lost, and Kate is a knowledgeable tracker which should help to make up for the low numbers." He explained testily, and with that he was gone.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

Half an hour later Kate and Sayid stood in the mouth of Locke's cave as Jack paced restlessly. Time was getting on and Michael still hadn't arrived. Dark clouds were beginning to gather on the horizon, casting a gloomy shadow over the camp and signifying the approach of evening.

Sayid had seemed quiet and despondent all afternoon, and when Kate placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder he didn't even look at her – failing to acknowledge any gesture of comfort now offered to him.

"You're doing your best under the circumstances." She smiled.

Sayid hadn't said anything to Kate about his earlier conversation, but it hadn't taken much for her to put two and two together and come up with four. "She just needs time." She told him.

"Time won't make a difference." Sayid shook his head sadly. "She's lost someone she loved more than even she realised, no amount of time can't fix that. It only makes it easier. The pain only fades because it's a fact of life that time is a great killer of memories."

"I know." Kate sighed – nobody but Jack – who had stopped pacing for the moment – realised just how much Sayid's statement rang true to her. "But she needs space to find herself again, that's something you of all people should understand."

"Just make sure you don't lose yourself in the meantime." Jack's tone was grave as he approached the couple, a look of complete seriousness upon his face. "Shannon will get through this, you both will, and she's going to need you to be there for her when she finally realises just how much she needs you to."

He glanced briefly in Kate's direction, smiling affectionately.

Suddenly they heard a rusting in the bushes as someone made their way up the path from the beach.

All three turned to see Michael appear from behind a nearby tree.

"Where have you been? I told you half an hour." Jack asked angrily as he approached the young man. He recoiled slightly at the sound of his own voice – his tone coming out harsher than he had intended it to.

"I couldn't find Sun." Michael explained apologetically. "Charlie said something about her being out with Jin. I couldn't just leave Walt to fend for himself! I've had to leave him with Rose for now."

Jack nodded. Although it didn't seem so, in the midst of his anxiety to find Locke, he still understood that as a father Michael had different priorities.

Too much time had already been lost though, and there seemed little cause to waste it further through launching into a seemingly irresolvable conflict.

"We'd better get going then." He explained, glancing up at the sky as he did so, noticing the encroaching darkness as it veiled the normally brilliant blue of its tropical beauty. "Ready?" He asked, turning to Michael.

"As I'll ever be." Michael nodded.

"And you two?" Jack asked, turning to Sayid and Kate who both nodded in response.

A twitch of Jack's head was the only sign that he had registered their reply as he took lead of the small party, guiding them cautiously into the jungle. Not another word was spoken between them as all four remained vigilant for any sign of Locke, fearing that if they were to miss anything by the time they retraced their tracks it may already be too late.


	27. Chapter 27

**CHAPTER 27**

Meanwhile as the small party of searchers began to weave their way through the dense overgrowth of the jungle Locke struggled, without result, to convince his captor of the urgency of his situation. Burning pain wracked his chest and abdomen, forcing him to concentrate less on talking and more on the act of breathing as he fought for every breath.

"Please… what do you want from me?" He begged as he looked up at the motionless form of the woman standing before him.

"Your sickness, the air all around here has been contaminated." She spoke, her heavy French accent rolling fluently off her tongue. "I cannot allow the contagion to continue."

"Doctor." Locke said as he attempted to make his need clearer, knowing little of how much English the French woman really understood. "Jack… please… I need the doctor."

He had to stop when once again is abdomen was gripped by searing pain.

He looked up definitely at the woman now standing over him as she raised the gun parallel to his chest, continuing upwards towards his head.

The tears in her eyes deflected the diminishing light of the evening and opened up a gateway to her soul – revealing that she was no cold blooded murderer, but a woman tormented by fear and grief.

"Where have you come from?" She asked him. Her voice broke dangerously as she struggled to hold the gun steady. "Who are you?"

"My name is John Locke." Locke told her, with as much calm as his throbbing body would permit. "There are a group of us… we are… we are survivors of Oceanic Flight 815, which crashed here thirty-two days ago." He explained, taking deep breaths between gaps in his speech as he battled with the increasing pain – the light of the afternoon gradually surrendering itself to the dull mask of early evening. The air became icy to his hot body, making Locke shiver. He didn't once take his eyes off the gun – still pointing in his direction as she kept her finger fixed firmly on the trigger.

"Who are _you_?" Locke asked at last, turning the question around to her.

The woman eyed him suspiciously, and didn't respond for a long time. She appeared to be debating whether to answer him or not – but Locke didn't like the silence which had elapsed between them. It unnerved him.

Finally, she sighed.

"My name is Rousseau." She hesitated. "Danielle Rousseau… and believe me when I tell you there's nowhere on this island for you to run."

Locke could sense that she had more to say, and waited, quiet and subdued, for her to continue.

"It's been nearly seventeen years since we first came here… my group of scientific researchers and I." She explained. "Seventeen lonely years since _they_ came, and took everything I loved away from me. Now I see their pain in your eyes to… how can I possibly allow you to return to your camp with the knowledge of what awaits the rest of your people if this were to spread?" She asked him.

"I don't understand." Locke winced.

"I watched my group fall victim to the island's mysterious contagion one by one." Rousseau told him sadly. "Each day there was another body for me to burn as sickness and fever ravaged those I loved, people I had known my whole working life. They were like a family to me… but like any good mother the life I feared for most of all was that of my child… my daughter Alex."

"Wait, you had a child?" Locke exclaimed.

Rousseau nodded.

"Her farther was a scientist also…" She said. "He was part of my team. I loved him. But I could see only one chance to save myself and the life of my daughter after he became sick. So I shot him, sparing him the fate of the rest, and stopped the virus in its tracks. Now do you see why I cannot allow their loss to be in vein by allowing you to live?"

"You don't even know me." Locke cried, anger masking his fear now as he felt his body begin to weaken. "You know nothing about me… you know nothing of my condition." He exclaimed.

Rousseau didn't respond – and she still had her gun trained on him.

"I can't take much more of this." He growled despairingly. "Please… I need Jack… Just give me a bloody chance!" He begged.

A sickening pain shot through his lower abdomen as he forced himself to his feet. He stumbled backwards, a primitive cry irrupting from the deeper recesses of his throat – and shock turned his body cold.

It was then that a loud crack abruptly echoed through the jungle canopy as the gun Rousseau still had trained upon Locke suddenly went off.


	28. Chapter 28

The small party of searchers froze at the sound of the gunshot echoing through the trees – alert to potential danger.

"What was that?" Michael asked nervously as an eerie silence followed – the jungle remaining unnervingly and unnaturally still as though the shocking reverberation had petrified all life into submission.

"It came from over there." Sayid pointed in the direction of a narrow clearing, just a few feet ahead of them.

They stood huddled together in a small group as they contemplated what was to be done. Silent seconds ticked by without a word or a gesture passing between them, holding their breath until they could do so no longer

The beating of their hearts echoed in their ears, and Jack could keep his silence no longer. As his initial shock wore off his desperation to find Locke before nightfall began to get the better of him again.

"Locke!" He called. "Locke!"

"Jack!" Sayid hissed, putting his finger slowly to his lips as Jack turned to look at him. "Shhhhhh."

Jack listened intently for a response, but, to his dismay, none came.

"Come on." He instructed the small group, before taking lead of them as he pressed on in the direction from where the shot had come from.

They had moved only a few meters towards the small clearing when some members of the group came to an abrupt halt. They could hear the sound of someone, or something, moving up ahead. Branches snapped beneath someone's feet and the barely audible sound of voices drifted on the silent breeze. As they continued at a steadier pace a short distance further Jack nervously withdrew the marshal's small, black firearm which he'd concealed within a makeshift holster fixed around his waist. He then turned to face Kate who was following directly behind.

"You know, you don't have to press on any further if you don't want to." He told her, whispering the words to her affectionately. "I could go on alone… at least until we've determined whether there's any danger."

She smiled back at him.

"I said _we_ wouldfind Locke Jack," She told him, "together… I'm not turning back now. I wouldn't want to… not if it meant leaving you behind."

"I just want you safe." He said.

"I know." She smiled. "I want you to be safe too, and that's why I love you."

Their conversation was cut short however by the sound of a second gunshot – this time much closer.

Jack looked silently at Kate – almost willing her to change her mind – but Kate had made her decision and there could be no changing her mind.

The three men took off in the direction from which the second shot had been fired, and as Jack ran he glanced back briefly to see her closely following Sayid with the look of steely determination in her eyes which he so admired about her. He also noticed that Michael was struggling to keep the pace behind.

Jack stopped suddenly as he entered the clearing a little to quickly – and to his horror he came face to face with the barrel of a gun. He saw Locke at the foot of a nearby tree – a pained expression upon his pale face – and raised his own gun ready to defend himself as one by one the rest of the group came to an abrupt halt behind him.

"Rousseau…" Sayid starred shocked at her, crossing cautiously in front of Jack and putting himself between the doctor and the barrel of the gun. "What are you doing here?" He asked.

Having spent time with the woman he was fairly sure that she wouldn't shoot him, but he couldn't be entirely sure about Jack.

"Sayid…" She whispered as recognition immediately dawned on her. "I've missed you since you left." She told him, with a wistful smile – the haunting hollowness of her gaze a testament to her loneliness.

"I know." He nodded sympathetically, raising his hands in an unthreatening manner as he realised that she still had the gun trained in their general direction. "Please… just put the gun down." He implored her.

"I can't do that." She shook her head – and he could tell that she was clearly torn. She didn't want to have to shoot anyone, but there was a desperation in her voice which warned him to tread carefully. She was very evidently frightened, and he knew from experience that this could make a person unpredictable.

"Yes… you can!" Sayid tried to convince her as the breath caught in his throat. "Just hand me the gun and let him go." He pleaded with her, indicating the unmoving form of John Locke. It wasn't looking good for the man – who appeared to have limp. He was evidently still conscious as his eyes were still open, but they appeared dark and sunken. His complexion was so pale as to appear almost opaque in its nature, and the sweat was running off him in rivers. The twisted trunk of the tree against which he was sat was mangled by two large, gaping wounds – the obvious entry points of a sizable callaba bullet, fired at close range.

"But he's sick… he's contaminated." She said, with a startling air of conviction in her voice. "You knew this day might come." She told Sayid as she turned the gun back on Locke.

"Please…" Kate leapt forward, taking a few tentative paces towards Rosseau – but Sayid looked at her and shook his head, warning her not to proceed any further.

Kate stopped beside Jack, and he turned his attentions back to Rosseau.

"Don't do this." He pleaded with her, shaking his head – one arm outstretched as he began to edge his way forward, towards her. "Not again. You're not a killer Danielle. Seventeen years ago you thought you were alone on this island, you could sense death all around you and like anybody else in your situation you could see no way out… but you're not alone here anymore. We have a doctor, and he _can_ help!"

"Don't you understand? There is no other way." She cried. Forcing the words from between her tight lips as remorse consumed her soul.

"Listen to me Rousseau. There are two others back at our camp. They've been sick for days, but one of them is improving." He explained. "People get sick, sometimes they die. It's a horribly cruel fact of life… but they can also get better if you just give us a chance."

"Please…" Locke begged of her hoarsely – his voice was barely an audible whisper, and he flinched as he lifted his head slowly and locked eyes with Rosseau. Jack deduced that he was probably running a dangerously high fever – he was shivering violently and his teeth chattered as he spoke. They didn't have long – even if Rosseau didn't shoot him he was likely to lose consciousness soon anyway, and if he did Jack knew that there was a chance he may never wake up.

She turned away.

Rousseau appeared to be contemplating her options – wresting with her conscience. She struggled to make a choice between sparing the life of the man before her, or complying with her own distorted perceptions of reality, and what they told her she must do – but finally she lowered her gun.

"If the worst should come to the worst you know what needs to be done." She told Sayid, before turning her back disappearing, once again, into the jungle.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

Sayid made to follow her but Jack held him back, grasping him firmly by the arm. "We need you here." He insisted, before making his way over to Locke – who was evidently exhausted.

"I'm sorry Jack." Locke strained to speak as the doctor knelt down beside him. His relief was evident although hard to read beyond his pain, even as the receding light of the day gave over to evening, and cast a heavy shadow over his shivering form.

"It's alright." Jack tried to reassure him. "Just lay still a moment." He said as he raided his rucksack for one of a selection of pill bottles he had seen appropriate to bring with him. Finding what he was looking for he quickly withdrew a small brown pill bottle which contained a limited number of dark blue capsules rattling around in the bottom.

"Here take this." He said as he offered Locke one of the pills. "It's a much stronger painkiller than I have given you before and contains a mild sedative." He explained as he helped the other man to sit up. "Its times like this that I wish we had a fully equipped hospital here on this island, under normal circumstances I would want to get you hooked up to an IV straight away, and start running some fluids into you. You're severely dehydrated Locke." He said as he pinched a small amount of skin on the back of the other man's hand and watched it as it took far too long to return to normal.

Locke choked weakly on the small trickle of water Jack offered him as he swallowed the pill down with evident difficulty – the coughing fit sent his already raw abdomen into another spasm and he gasped for breath, reaching out in panic and grasping Jack tightly by the hand.

"Jack…" He whispered.

"Just lay still Locke." Jack coaxed as he fought to restrain him, as in his panic he began to flail around aimlessly – he seem to be too aware of his environment. "Your symptoms seem to be progressing in the same way as Sawyer's. If you don't try and calm down and continue to keep throwing yourself around like this you could end up doing yourself some serious internal damage." He told him. "The pills should help to take the edge off soon."

Locke did his best to try and calm down – although it wasn't easy. Eventually silence elapsed between them, but it was broken by his frequent gasps of pain, as he tossed and turned on the jungle floor, trying to get comfortable. It took longer than Jack had anticipated for him to finally relax enough for him to be able to take a closer look at him.

"So what's the verdict?" Michael asked him after he had completed his preliminary examination, observing the semi-conscious form of John Locke at his feet.

"He's resting now." Jack nodded. "The pills I have given him have helped a little but they are not strong enough to completely relieve his pain. I don't think he's in any immediate danger though and the medication should keep him relatively sedate for the next few hours, but we really need to get him back to the caves as soon as possible."

"That won't be possible this evening I'm afraid Jack." Sayid sighed as he approached.

Jack frowned.

"What do you mean?" He asked him.

"It's already quite late." Sayid explained. "And as the night draws on it's only going to get colder. We've already lost the light and we have no idea how long it's going to take us to get back to camp with Locke…"

"He's very sick!" Jack exclaimed, his frustration conveyed within his voice. "If he has to spend the night out here I cannot vouch for what his condition will be in the morning. I am already working to the absolute limit of my resources. There's only so much I can do for him out here!"

"Even so…" Sayid sighed. "Do you honestly believe that John is going to be able to keep up with us in the condition he's in?" He asked. "It's going to be a whole lot worse for him if we get ourselves lost! It's much better and safer for everyone involved, especially Locke, if we set up camp here for the night. You go and see to John Jack, I'll take Michael and we can start setting up a campfire… It's the best chance we have, believe me." He told him, eyebrows raised.

Jack silently contemplated their options – it was indeed true that an evening spent out in the open was certainly not going to be good for Locke in his current condition, and that he had a fight on his hands if he was going to have to try and keep his condition stable out here. His priority, besides managing his pain, was going to be trying to bring his temperature down without allowing him to become too cold – which could very easily lead to him developing hypothermia.

Eventually he conceded that overall Sayid was probably right, although it wasn't without reluctance that he agreed to do things his way.

He nodded, before turning around to look for Kate, realising that he hadn't seen her for a while, but with a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach he could see no sign of her as he looked about him – Kate, it seemed, had gone.


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

Jack finally found Kate in an adjacent clearing, through a thin veil of trees.

"Hey." He smiled as he made his way towards her. The crack of a branch beneath his feet caused her to jump slightly as he approached, and she turned to face him.

"Hey yourself." She returned his gesture affectionately. She reached out her arms towards him as he neared her, and they wrapped their arms warmly around each other in a tight and reassuring embrace.

"Are you alright Kate?" Jack asked her, still not letting go.

"Yeah… I was just thinking about Sawyer." She sighed, her voice faltering slightly, and he noticed that she seemed to be worried about something. "He is going to get better isn't he Jack?" She asked him.

"I won't deny that he has been, and still is very sick Kate." Jack nodded. His tone was grave and he seemed somewhat uncertain – there could after all be no guarantees. This virus was an unknown entity to them all, and there was no real telling what it might yet be capable of. Jack suspected that what they had seen of it over the past few days may have only been the tip of the iceberg – as was so often the case with many other tropical diseases.

"But there's no reason why with sufficient support and medical attention, even in this hostile environment, he cannot make a full recovery." He smiled – trying to assure himself of this fact as much as he was Kate – but she seemed to buy into his charade of false confidence.

"Good… I'm glad." She grinned, looking deep into his dark brown eyes, and he starred lovingly back at her. It seemed that neither of them could really believe the series of extraordinary circumstances that had brought them together.

"How's Locke?" She asked him.

"He's in a lot of pain." Jack explained. "But he'll live. I'm pretty sure we found him in time… things could have been a lot worse. I don't think he's bleeding internally, and so if we can manage his pain and keep him still long enough to give his body time to recover I shouldn't need to operate again – but it's good to know that if the need arises it is possible to carry out a successful surgery, and for the patient to recover – despite the risks, and all the additional stress it causes me." He smiled.

He wrapped his arms around her again, and the two stood in silence for a while – warming each other where their two bodies touched, despite the cool wind blowing. Jack made a note to cover Locke with a thin blanket when they got back to camp, but for now he was content in Kate's company – assured that John was asleep and would therefore be alright for the moment. There were after all others keeping an eye on him. They knew where Jack was and would come and get him if there was any change to his condition.

There was however one thing which still troubled Jack about his relationship with Kate. He wasn't sure that it was right to raise it with her – she appeared so content for the first time since they'd all crashed on this island – and he didn't want to be the one to spoil her happiness. But he knew that he could never give himself over to her completely unless he could be sure that it really was him that she loved.

"Kate, do you regret choosing me over Sawyer?" He asked her finally, breaking the silence that had elapsed between them.

Kate immediately turned around to look at him – disentangling herself from his embrace. She appeared shocked by his question and there was a concerned frown upon her face. "Where's all this come from?" She asked him.

Jack shrugged.

"I just need to know." He said quietly.

She smiled.

"I love you Jack." She replied softly, resting her head gently on his warm shoulder, and taking him by the hand – squeezing it hard. "Nothing is going to change that. I cannot deny that there is a connection between me and Sawyer that may never go away, and yes there is a part of me that loves him, but not in the way that I love you. I know that now, and Sawyer's just going to have to learn to accept that. I chose _you_ Jack…" She smiled. "Sometimes I think it's been you all the time. I just don't think I realised it until recently. Does that sound corny?" She laughed.

"Maybe just a little." Jack nodded. There was a playful smile upon his face. "But I love you too Kate." He said as he planted a gentle kiss upon top of her forehead and pulled her closer to him.

He felt Kate shiver in his arms as the air grew colder, and an icy breeze caressed her bare flesh.

"It's getting late." Jack whispered. "We should be getting back to the others soon."

"No." She shook her head, taking his arms and drawing him back towards her as he pulled away slightly. "Let's stay here a while longer. The moment will be over soon enough, let's not rush anything." She implored him.

If Kate had of had her way she would have been quite happy for this moment between them to last forever – suspended in time for all eternity – but failing that she was determined to make it last for as long as possible. She couldn't recall ever being as happy in her life before as she felt now. Jack complimented her – he made her whole.

Jack glanced back briefly, through the trees, at the silent form of Locke sleeping silently under the tree they had found him under earlier. He hadn't moved in hours, but the others had built the campfire close by to try and keep him warm. It was now burning bright, and Michael and Sayid were sitting with him, talking amongst themselves as they kept a close eye.

"Yeah, sure." He smiled, and nodded – Locke was obviously in safe hands for now – and they weren't very far away.

As Kate kissed him tenderly on the lips – her skin soft and passionately supple – something told him that things would never be quite the same again – they both had something bigger to live for now – each other, and that was alright with him.

A change was taking place deep within Kate's soul too – filling her with pure joy as she realised that she was finally free. She had been running from her painful past all these years, right into the open arms of a much brighter future – she just hadn't realised it at the time.

But she didn't have to run anymore.

She still felt guilty about Sawyer – who she had come to realise really did love her in his own way – and Tom would never leave her completely – but she could now feel the pain associated with his memory washing away.

"Thank You." She whispered quietly into Jack's ear, but he failed to respond as he held her tightly to him. His silence said it all – that he would never leave her, that he needed her as much as she needed him. He loved her, and he would keep her safe and on the straight and narrow from now on. So long as they both had each other neither would ever be alone again.

Jack was safe. He was dependable. He was exactly what she needed – and in that moment Kate knew that she had made the right choice.

 _ **End.**_


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